Surgery

I had to take Pyro to the vet today. She's had a lump between her shoulder for a while now and it was my first priority to get her to the vet with my now FREE Friday's! (That is great! I'm glad to have Friday's off again. To celebrate I slept in until 7:30, got up for 15 minutes and then went back to bed until 9:00. It was wonderful).

Pyro loves car rides so unless we take all the cats in for their shots, we let her ride in the back window. I prefer it that way too, because I am convinced she gets car sick if she can't see out a window.



This was the ride home. She didn't blink for the first 15 miles. Even after that all she really did was move her head a few times.

When we got home we tried to get her to lay on a blanket, but she kept trying to walk around. She would only get a step or two and then fall down. We tried putting her in a box, thinking that if she didn't have the strength to climb out she would sleep. That didn't work either. She ended up getting half way out and then before I could help her, gravity did the rest for her and she fell on the floor.

I feel like such a bad, mean momma right now...We finally decided that the best medicine would be daddy's love. Hopefully, the drugs will wear off soon and she will back to her ornery self. Wait, that is the plus side to this. I can hold her and she doesn't growl at me.

We have to go back in two weeks so they can take the stiches out. Zipper and Missy will be living outside for the most part until then.

A few updates

I finally did some major repair work to our BETA LDSFS online profile. I don't think I ever posted that it was online because I was so unhappy with the picture quality. For example, we had a picture of our kittens on their and when they re-sized it, it cut off two of their heads! There was a few other pictures where we were missing the top of our heads and other pictures were just fuzzy. I have finally fixed all of those pictures I was really unhappy with. I still want to get some new pictures of us in our float tubes this summer. The ones I have now were taken with a disposable camera, so they aren't the clearest picture.

I also just finished adding several things to our adoption blog. With our online profiles we are limited to how much we can type and we can only use 24 pictures. I just posted a ton of pictures on this blog and hope to add some more in the upcoming weeks. I am very happy with the changes I made there. If you see anything on that blog that doesn't look right like a spelling error or an ugly picture, please email me. I really want that blog to put our best face forward.

The biggest news (if you can even call it that), is that we may have finally had a legit birth mother contact. We still aren't sure, but it hasn't felt as phony as the others. It is actually a girl looking for her pregnant sister. I don't know if they have made an adoption plan yet, I think they are just exploring all their options. But it is still exciting to know that real people are looking at our profiles!

Crafty Tag!

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!

My choice.
For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make! (But I promise to put my whole heart into it!)
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It'll be done this year. (10 months, I better get busy!)
4. You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry or an article on properly cleaning your face before a masque. I may draw or paint something. I may bake something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch?

Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog.

The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!

*Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it! If you don't post a picture, my feelings may be hurt, and I just might cry.

I copied this from Desi and Carlie. I am so excited to do this! oh, it will not be a story, it will defiantly be something handmade.

Go ahead, leave a comment. You know you want to! Just make sure you offer the same deal on your blog.

My not so secret admirers

Working the front desk at my job seems to have it's perks. Sure I have to deal with a lot of smelling, unsavory, or otherwise sometime annoying people, but there is always a few who do like me.

A few weeks ago we were busy so I had someone come up to help me. When I pointed out who was next in line, he declared he would wait until his "girlfriend" could help him and insisted the guy behind him go next. Then as he went to leave he told me to watch as he drove by so I could see his new trailer that he does his cooking stand out of. This guy also will always make sure my husband is still treating me right.

This week another gentleman presented me with a gift.
A jewelry box that he made himself. He does woodwork and he does a really good job. I insisted that I couldn't take it, that my husband would be jealous. But he was persistent so I accepted it and told him no more presents. He just grinned and said we would have to see about that.

I don't worry about these guys to much. They are old enough to be my grandpa's. I figure they are just lonely.

Oh, and that jealous husband I mentioned? When I called to tell him about my present he asked what it was. When I told him it was a jewelry box his response was, "Oh, good. You've been asking for one of those. Now I don't have to buy one." Yep, I love that man!

Check out this adoption blog

I am a BIG fan of the R House Blog. For starters her boys are just about the cutest EVER (look for their pictures in the left sidebar). The writer of the R House is a huge adoption advocate. Last week she is doing guest appearances by others who are in the adoption world. Every day was an AMAZING POST.

Click HERE to go to her blog or click HERE to just see her guest appearances. Or click on both, it really is a great blog.

Tuesday's post made me cry. A lot. The poem that he wrote for his mother...well I can't find the right word because awesome, amazing, wonderful just don't justify it. If you don't click on any of the links I have included today, please be sure to check out Tuesday's post and read it. To read more of his story on the R House blog click HERE.

Wednesday's post made me cry. I know the pain of infertility and just how much it hurts. I will NEVER know the pain that a birth mother goes through. They are such amazing people and I am sure that they will be in the highest degree of glory in Heaven.

Thursday's post made me cry. We don't have a birth mother yet, but I think of her everyday. I wonder if what she is doing, if she is okay, what she looks like... I pray for her everyday and hope the best for her.

Friday's Post and Saturday's Post is a two part post. It is long, but well worth reading. It's a birth mother story that just makes me want to cry some more. I hope that someday we can have an amazing birth mother like this person. I also hope and pray that we can have a great relationship like she shares with the family that adopted her baby

Sigh, I want so badly to be a part of the adoption world...

Testimony Meeting

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. On the first Sunday of each month our church has a testimony meeting during our Sacrament services. Basically that means that they open the podium up to anyone who wants to stand and talk about how the feel about the church. It is completely voluntary.

Today I wanted to get up and bear my testimony, but I was suffering from stage fright. I knew if I got up that I would end up crying. Now I am feeling guilty that I didn't follow my heart. Had I been brave enough to stand up this is what I would have said:

"The last two weeks I have prayed harder than I think I ever have and I have cried harder than I have in quite a while. I was so worried that my friend wouldn't get her baby, that the placement would fall through and that she and her husband would end up going home to an empty house. I begged my Father in Heaven to not let that happen, I pleaded and at one point I even tried to bargain. At times I wanted to give up hope, how could my prayers make a difference? I am just one person. But I couldn't let go of the hope I had inside. This had to work, it just had to.

I had forgotten just how powerful a prayer can be. At first my prayers were "how can this be happening, it's not right." Then it was "please, don't let this happen to them. Can't you see they need this baby." Finally after several days of praying my heart seemed to calm down and I knew that things would work out the way they were supposed to. I didn't know for sure that the placement would happen, I just knew that it would go according to the Lord's plan.

I know I wasn't alone in my prayers and we must have prayed hard enough because things worked out and my friend was able to take this sweet little baby home."

Transracial Adoption Conference

I debated about going to this, mainly because it is during the week, but I have decided to go. I need something to lift up my spirits and I hope this will help. I am sure it will be very informative and eye opening.

Chinese Horoscope = Wishful Thinking

Today I received a Chinese Feng Shui horoscope. I don't put any stock in these things, but I still do them because it's fun and sometimes it does hit the nail right on the head. I liked some of the "promises" of this one so I thought I would post it here.

1. Which is your favorite color: Red, Black, Blue, Green or Yellow?

Yellow

2. Your first initial?

S

3. Your month of birth?

January

4. Which color do you like more, Black or White?

Black

5. The name of a person that is the same sex as you?

***** (I think I will keep that answer to myself for now.)

6. Your favorite number?

Nine

7. Do you like California or Florida more?

Florida

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

Ocean

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

I wish I was a mother...is that realistic enough?

Answers:

1. If you chose:

Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black - You are conservative and aggressive.

Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue - You are spontaneous and love affection.

Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. Well, I do love to talk.

2. If your initials are:

A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R You try to live your life to the max and your love life is soon to bloom.

S-Z You like to help others and your future looks very bright. As in bright that the lights will be on during the night because I will be feeding a baby?

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Does that mean there is an adoption in the horizon...

Apr-Jun: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.

Jul-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your life will be great, you will find you soul mate.

4. If you chose:

Black: Your life is about to get better. You are more than ready for the change. Well some days I feel like it can't get much worse so better is something to shoot for. And you have no idea how ready I feel...

White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person should be your best friend...Um, I don't feel like a nice person right now. But I am going to work harder at being a nice person, especially to this person!

6. This is how many close friends you will have in your life time. Hmm, do I know all of those nine people yet? Somehow I don't think so, I can't wait to meet them!

7. If you chose:

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laid back person. That is exactly why I chose Florida. See, these things really do work!

8. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover. You are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people. Wow, that sounds like me. I just want people to like me.

9. This wish will come true if you send this to 1 person in one hour.... YADA YADA YADA. Like that really makes a difference! But I can only hope, I figured I would get my best coverage by posting it here. But seriously, I could believe in these things until it gets to this point. How did good luck come about before mass emailings?

Here's the plan: I will have to remember to read this post a year from now and see if it actually worked. Of course if it's like the past year, when I look back I will still see the same empty house... Come on horoscope, don't fail me now!

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...

My mom won a free makeover with a Mary Kay Consultant. I have a family member who also does Mary Kay and I am not big on makeup, but I knew it would be a fun night so I went along. To start the night out I had to fight my brother's cat, Alto, for the chair. We started with a Satin Hands Treatment. I LOVE THIS STUFF! Misty described it best when I bought it. Your hands feel so soft, just like sleeping in silk pj's with fresh shaved legs! After that we washed our faces. We were all pretty busy so I didn't get pictures during that part.

Then we did the makeup. I don't wear makeup. I think it's a waste of time and money. I never learned how to use it when I was younger and and never really bothered with it. Oh, there's been a few times during our marriage that I've worn it, but really all I use is a little eye liner and mascara.

We started with foundation. I don't like foundation. I felt like my face was dirty and I wanted to wash it off. We thought powder would be better because I think my skin is a little oily, but I might try some liquid foundation if I end up buying anything.

This is my sister doing her makeup. She was the only one wearing makeup when we got there so she had to wash hers off first. She looked pretty before and after the makeover night.

I told her I wouldn't use this picture, but every time I see it I can't stop laughing. Her eyes look so funny! She LOVED the mascara.

Here is my mom doing her makeup. She ended up choosing some great colors.

Ah, what a disaster. I was trying to follow the guide, but I did it wrong. My eyes looked so scary! The gal tried to fix it, but it was still noticeable so I was able to use the makeup remover too!

See, here she is trying to correct me. I told her I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sure she was thinking "What kind of girl doesn't wear makeup." Um, me.
She was a great consultant. It defiantly looked much better doing it her way.
Despite the fact that I still don't know if I like how it turned out, it was a great night. I want every one's honest opinion. What do you think? Should I try to find the lady in me and start wearing more makeup?
Josh's thoughts? He thinks I look good either way. He has actually told me this several times. Last summer they did some work on a house and he would come home and tell me he was grateful I didn't look like that lady without makeup. He says some people need makeup to look good or their face is scary, but he says I am not that way.

Tada... the finished product

Last week I started my crocheting class. I worked all week on my bookmark, but when I got to the end I didn't know how to finish it off, so I set it aside and made a few hot pads. Tonight I learned how to finish it off, and I have already started a second one. I want to do this pattern several times until I get it down before I start something else.
It looks so nice in one of my favorite books!

I don't feel like I have blogged much lately, but I am trying to work through some emotional issues right now. I have had a hard time recovering from the con artist call we received two weeks ago. I just don't understand why people would do such a mean and horrible thing.

Then to top it off I have a few friends going through a rough patch right now. I am excited that I have an infertile friend that I can talk to when ever I want rather than just through my support group. And my other friend was supposed to get placed with her baby a week ago. I check my email 50 times a day hoping to hear good news from her. I am praying nonstop for her and her husband and the birth family of the baby. I just feel like I could feel better about adoption if I could see it go well for her.

Make sure to check out my cooking blog!

This weekend I made Oatmeal Craisins Cookies for Josh. This one is about the 30th he has eaten in the last 24 hours. The recipe is on my cooking blog.

Ready for Spring

Don't get me wrong. I actually like winter, more so than summer. I love snow. But when it is just cold and without any snow, I don't like that.
Oh, and yes I have time to blog being as I just finished Daydreams. It was so good. Once again Marcia Lynn McClure has outdone herself. My only complaint is the book was too short, but I always think that about all her books.

Don't call me this weekend...

I will be so engrossed in my new books that I don't think I will bother to answer the phone. I love Marcia Lynn McClure so much. A new book from her is better than Christmas and I have 2 new books. I'm so excited that I don't know what to do. Oh wait, yes I do. I started Daydreams while at lunch and I am already at page 75.

Crocheting 101

A few ladies in our ward started a Crocheting class. I am so excited. Several years ago I made hot pads, but that was all I ever figured out how to do. Last night was our first night and I started a bookmark. I can't wait to see how it turns out. This is how far I made it last night. I had to undo my stitching a few times, but by the time we quit I was getting the hang of it.

The lady who is in charge made us these cool little bags. You put the hook inside and then run the string through the Velcro and that holds your spot so your work doesn't come undone.

I didn't make this one. but this is the final project that we hope to have.

Pillow Fight

When I first got Pyro as a kitten she wouldn't sleep with me. She just wanted to play. So I would trick her into staying. I would put a pillow on the bed above my head and while she was on it I would scratch the bed to keep her attention until either she or I feel asleep. It seemed like a great idea then.
Now we fight over who should get my pillow. When we were first married I would wake up several times a night to find her on my pillow and my head on Josh's pillow. She doesn't kick me off my pillow as much as she used to, but as soon as I get up each morning she makes herself comfortable.

Pictures from the past

I am still trying to put something things together for our adoption blog. I have several posts started that I just need to finish. I hope to keep this as a very basic blog about us for birth mothers to look at. Right now I am trying to write up a quick history of our dating. I am going to include these pictures there, but since I love looking at them so much I thought I would post them here too.

I'm not sure when this picture was taken, but we were at Lagoon in one of their little photo booths.

Not sure when these pictures were taken either.

This picture is from the Winter Ball. I love this picture of us. The snowflake above my head almost looks like a crown.

This is my other favorite picture of us. It was my Valentine's Sweetheart dance.

My Prom

Josh's Prom

Stay tuned for some engagement & wedding pictures.

Feeling Down

Life is a little tough at our house right now. It started to occur to me last night what could have been. Then today they had a song about mothers and I started to cry because of about an hour this week I thought I would have a reason to celebrate Mother's Day this year. I'm trying to not think about it, but I am still sad.
Oh, and kitchen water pipe has a leak and our garage is full of water.

Rare moment in our home

These two NEVER get along. I'm really starting to think Pyro is not feeling like herself. Usually she acts like she wants to bite Zipper's head off.
Since those two were getting along I threw Missy next to them so I could get a picture. The picture I have on our LDSFS Beta sight isn't a very good one.

Hello from our kittens!

Pyro has been especially loving today. She must be sick.I'm king of the mountain, er... king of the recliner! Momma, please ship me to some place warmer.

Leave me alone, I'm busy.

Re-Introduction

Welcome to my blog (again). When I first entered the blogging world my purpose was to create something that would make it easier for our birth parents to stay a part of our lives. I wanted a place where I could post picture and stories of our children as they grew.

Then something happened; I became addicted. I pride myself on not being too caught up in this technical age. I don't text, in fact, all I do with my cell phone is make phone calls (because that's what I think a cell phone should be used for). We still own the original PlayStation. I joined Face book and thought it to be lame. But blogging...I was totally caught up in that.

Something amazing has happened over the last 6 months. I have been able to let go of pain, to finally forgive, and to heal. I think blogging has helped with that. It amazes me that when I write things down it helps release the pressure that was built up behind the pain.

At first I was scared to share my feelings, to expose myself like that. But it's hard keeping up a brave face all day and then crying in my bed all night. I started numerous posts about our infertility, only to delete them because I thought they would reveal too much. But then I realized that they would only reveal the truth. I am only human. I have my own trials and sometimes they are hard. But each day life goes on and that is why I try to put a smile on my face and trudge on forward.

Choosing a new title for this blog was harder than I thought it would be. The humor in me wanted to do something funny, some catchy, something original yet slightly strange. But a part of me wanted to make a title that could become my new mantra. Something that would inspire me to keep hoping, to keep dreaming, to have faith.

There is a song by Michael McLean called "Something Perfect." I hope that some day soon we will be living this song.

There's an ache that's missing today.

There's an emptiness that's been filled.

There's a cloud that's lifting and drifting away.

There's a ragin' storm that's been stilled.

There's a joy that's real.

There's a wound that's finally healed.

There's a future replacing a past.

There's breath of new life in the cast.

And there's something perfect happening here.

And this moment will bury the mountains of fear.

And through countless tomorrows it won't disappear.

This something that's perfect happening here.

No one knows, so no one can say

That tomorrow all will be well.

Will the brightest promise that shines on today

Shine tomorrow? No one can tell.

But one thing is sure

And will be forever more

When such unselfish love has been given.

The world just made more room for Heaven.

And there's something perfect happening here.

And this moment will bury the mountains of fear.

And through countless tomorrows it won't disappear.

This something that's perfect happening here.

I wanted to name my blog Something Perfect. I wanted it to be a reminder to look for something perfect in my life everyday. I have a nice home in the most beautiful country that God created. I have my kittens. I have a great family and wonderful friends. And I am married to the most wonderful man there is. He loves me and does his best to show me that everyday.

Unfortunately that name was taken. I tried several other song titles that inspire me, but I kept coming back to this song. That is when Countless Tomorrows jumped out at me. Everyday is a new day and we have plenty of tomorrows to look forward to. I can't wait.

Blogger Backgrounds

I need help from my fellow bloggers. I really want to transform my blog into a three column blog. I finally figured out how to do that, but now my background makes my sidebars hard to read.
I am looking for other places I can go to get a free background that will work with my 3 column blog that I want to switch too. I have tried a few, but they all have issues. The Cutest Blog on the Block - I love their backgrounds! But if I am on my work computer I can't see the background of blogs that use their designs. It's really a nuiscance because that makes some blogs unviewalbe at all because it's a black screen and they use black font. My mother in-law has the same problem on her computer. Drats, I really do love their designs! I also tried Delightful Dots, but they only have 4 templates, and I didn't like any of them.
I am more familiar with the backgrounds you use by adding a gadget, but I will try anything.
I am trying to find something, but the few others I am finding are boring (BLAH!). I want something fresh, something fun. If you know of any websites I can check out please leave a comment. The future of my blog depends on you!

Another picture

When I cut my hair I was a little worried about how my perm would look. I was afraid I would look like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket. I probably thought that way because about 5 years ago I did have a perm like that! I still shudder thinking about it.

But I am happy to announce that I like how my hair looks. I forgot how much I like my hair this length. It's not too heavy but it's still long enough that I can do different things with it. I can't understand how a person can cut their hair really short and only be able to do the same hair style day after day. I did that once and I loved the short cut, but I missed playing with my hair. It was so hard to grow out and I had to go through so many awkward stages! It took me 10 months to get my hair to length that I liked. I won't be cutting it really short anytime soon.

Working on a Facelift

A week ago I announced that changes would be coming to this blog. You've probably noticed the face lift that I have been trying to give this blog. I have spent a ton of time thinking of what I want to rename this blog.

I have spent a lot of time going through my favorite songs trying to get ideas there. I think I have finally found what I want, but I wanted to send out one more warning that the address to this blog won't be working for much longer.

As soon as I change the address I will email everyone I know (that included the 2ofus4now and LDSAdoptiveParents Yahoo groups). If you want to make sure you don't miss out on the new address you can do a few things. You can leave a comment here with a link to your blog and I will make sure to leave a comment on your blog of my new address.

Or (and I hope this will be the easiest), visit my cooking blog http://cookingwithsourbonk.blogspot.com/; in the sidebar of that blog, I have a link to my other blogs and I will be sure to update my new address there.

I will probably make the switch this weekend, unless all the addresses I have picked out are already taken.

Congratulations to us!

Here is what we know:

She is is due May 25th.

She is 41.

She lives in Tennesse

She is married, but he husband is all for adoption also.

She already has 2 full grown children and 2 grandchildren.

She has a medical condition and knows she won't live to raise this child.

Oh, and she is all full of lies! (Seriously, couldn't you see the red flags!)

I know I had everyone going, but I am trying to share it like it happened so you can feel my joy and then my pain.

I was at work when my cell phone rang. I could see it was an out of state number so I just let it ring and hoped they would leave a message. I hoped it was a birth mother, but didn't know what I would say. A few minutes later Josh called in a panic. Someone wanted to give us their baby.
Even though we took a few moments to hope, we immediately we saw all the red flags.What is the life threatening condition? Her husband doesn't want to keep a part of his dying wife? Her two full-grown children don't want to raise their sibling?
I was so excited for about an hour. I'm not even sure what I did during that time. But the entire time bells were going off: this is too good to be true. So I did some searching on-line and I found someone who has been approached by this same person and she knows of others.
I know think I know what a drug addict goes through. That first hour was so exciting. My heart sped up yet slowed down at the same time! I was dreaming big, counting days, and making plans. I want to feel that high again! But only if it is the real deal.
So Congratulations to us. We just survived our first con artist scam. I don't count the emails we've gotten because you could tell they weren't real.

Thoughts on Adopting An Older Child

Someone asked us if we had ever considered adopting a waiting child, a child that is no longer an infant. That is a tough question for me to answer.
Giving up my dream of being pregnant was not all that hard to give up. Morning sickness, mood swings, weight gain, labor, I could give that up. I don't mind messing that step in the process to motherhood.
But I am not ready to give up the dream of holding a tiny baby in my arms. I'm not ready to miss out on midnight feedings, first smiles, first steps, and yes even things like dirty diapers.
I know I could love an older child if that is what we were to be given. And someday I may change my mind and be more open to an older child. I have actually thought about Foster Care a few times and if I didn't work I would do that. But I believe that children who are placed in Foster care need a stable environment with constant love and discipline. Their world is falling apart and they are already in a strange place; I wouldn't want to turn around and send them to a babysitter all day.
Until Josh is finished with his schooling I will have to continue to work. I love my job so that isn't a problem for me. But I would LOVE to be a stay at home mom. I dream of the time when I will be able to kiss my husband off to work and then spend the day playing with my children. We'll build forts, read books, bake cookies, take naps, you know, all that normal motherly stuff.
I love people who do foster care. I had a good friend in high school that was raised by a foster family and I think it made a world of difference in her life. But for us, now just isn't the time. And neither is it yet the time for us to consider adopting an older child.

We survived...

...Another trip to the city. Seriously, we only go like twice a year. It can be more stressful than it is fun. I wanted a jetted tub for our anniversary; the best we could afford was a one night stay in a hotel that had one.
So off to the city we went. Our first stop was at Quizno's for lunch. I love this place and if they had a restaurant around here I would eat there everyday. I always get the Chicken Carbonara. After Quizno's we went to Cabela's. That's actually become a tradition. When we go to Cabela's we have to eat at Quizno's. I must say I am impressed with Josh; he didn't buy a thing at Cabela's. We walked out only $30 poorer because we bought a ball cap for his brother and a package of their cinnamon roasted cashew nuts.
And he impressed me once again because the next place we went was Sportman's Warehouse. This time we walked out without buying a thing!
After that we made a stop for me and went to the Quilted Bear. That place is awesome. I had never been there before. I wanted to buy everything! Instead I bought a few things for our home. When I saw these things I just had to have them. They were perfect!

We also did some window shopping at the mall. The best service we got all weekend was at a clothing store in the mall. That night we once again fell in love with the Olive Garden. The waitress had a hard time believing that all I wanted on my salad was a lime & a lemon (click here to learn more about that on my cooking blog.)

The hotel bed was okay but the tub was pretty sweet! On Sunday we just lazily worked our way back home, but most everything was closed. I went to a Barne's & Nobel, but they didn't have the books I was looking for so we didn't buy anything there.

For dinner we stopped at Ruby River Steakhouse. I don't care for Steakhouse's, but that one was pretty good.

I'm glad to report that we made it home safely with most of our sanity in tact. Honestly, how do people live like that? The roads are scary with all those drivers, every where you go there is a crowd and a wait. I am so glad we live in the country.

Mountain Home Wildlife

I took these pictures a few weeks ago. This cow elk was just wondering around right down the road from our house a few weeks ago. We usually don't get to see them this close.
Last week while the weather was nice I kicked the kittens outside for a little while. I looked out later to see Zipper about to attack these quail. We usually see them a few times a year. They are fun to watch.

New Hair Cut

I went in for a hair trimming on Friday and this is what I ended up with. My hair is super thick and if it gets to long the weight of it gives headaches. The poor gal, I made her cut it 3 times before I was happy. I don't like taking the time to get my hair cut, that's why I keep a longer hairstyle, it's less maintenance.

Happy Anniversary!

Eight wonderful years ago, I married my best friend.

Eight years ago, I was sealed for time & eternity to the love of my life.

Eight years ago, my dreams started to come true.

The past eight years have been incredible. Josh says he hopes the next eight will be just as good, but I am shooting for more long range than that. I hope that the next 42 years will be just as great.

To celebrate we followed the same advice that was given to us eight years ago. You don't need to go anywhere special; chances are you won't leave the hotel room. Our hotel was nice. We stayed in South Jordan at the Country Inn & Suites in a room with a whirlpool tub (that was a must for me).

The coolest part is when we got there it sits up on a hill and we could see the temple where we were married. It was beautiful. We didn't go there, but we plan to for our 10th anniversary.

Changes Are Coming!

We are trying to do a big push to get the word out that we are trying to adopt. We have been waiting on LDSFS to launch their new website, but they keep having issues. Currently we have an online profile with both of their websites. The problem is that when the new website officially launches, the old website will no longer be available and the address to the new one will change.
We have been wanting to do some business cards to hand out to people but have been waiting for the website switch. We have been informed that they now don't know when this will happen. I am not going to wait on them anymore! So I have started yet another blog. This new blog will be dedicated completely to helping us find a baby. I am going to list the details about our family and anything else I feel is important for a birth mother to know about us. Once I get those things listed, I probably won't update it very often.
The address to this blog will be changing sometime in the very near future. I will try to email everyone and let them know what the new address is. If you don't receive it, you can either email me or go to my cooking blog. In the sidebar on that blog I keep a list of all the blogs I have and it should link you tho this blog after I change the address.
Sorry if this cause you difficulties, but when this blog turned into more of a ramblings of what I was thinking about, I decided that is was time to change the address to something more appropriate. (Although I am still trying to think of the perfect title!).
Oh, and this isn't about secret in case you were wondering.

I love this song!

I can't believe I am about to admit this, but I LOVE this song by Linkin Park "Leave Out All the Rest." I'm not only surprised because it is NOT country, but also because I always pictured these guys as a group with no morals and that their songs had foul language. I'm not ready to completely change my opinion, but let's just say that I have learned to not judge a song based on the CD cover. (Or something like that.)
This song was part of the soundtrack to Twilight. My husband bought the CD, but wouldn't share it. (He is so excited that his truck now has a CD player!) Last week we went somewhere and I got to drive the truck. When we got home I popped the CD out of the player and put it in my car. I think we need to buy another CD because I don't want to give it back!

Every time I hear this song I think it is trying to say something to me. I keep trying to apply it to adoption, but it doesn't seem to fit. But whatever it is, I can't seem to hear this song enough.

Leave Out All the Rest
I dreamed I was missing.
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared.
After my dreaming,
I woke with this fear.
What am I leaving
When I'm done here.
So if you're asking me
I want you to know.

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done.
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed.
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory.
Leave out all the rest.
Leave out all the rest.

Don't be afraid.
I've taken my beating.
I've shared what I made.
I'm strong on the surface,
Not all the way through.
I've never been perfect,
But neither have you.
So if you're asking me
I want you to know.

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done.
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed.
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest.
Leave out all the rest.

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well.
Pretending
Someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are.

How do you describe a good friend?

I'm talking about a really good friend who never judges you. Who cries with you when you cry? A friend who tries to hide their joy because they worry it will upset you? I wish I could find the right words because I have some friends that are just amazing. They never question me. They never complain when I start to go off about how unfair my life is. I have never met these people, but because we share something in common we are friends. Every time I feel down they are there at their keyboards typing out words of comfort to lift my spirits.

And I know it works both ways because when I can tell one of them is going through a tough time I try to do the same. Sometimes I don't know exactly what to say and all I may tell them is that I am sorry for what they are going through and I will pray for them. But when they tell me the exact same thing I feel better.

I thank Heaven EVERYDAY for these wonderful friends.

Bella & Tara

This story is AMAZING! Click HERE to watch it.

25 Reasons I Owe My Mother

This is so funny, and yet so true! *I should add that this was an email I received, it's not actually written about my family, but still there was so many I could relate too. See my notes at the bottom.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE..
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
----
In regards to #3 - when we would travel, my dad would tell us to go to sleep so he could drive really, really fast. He told us that if we stayed awake it would make us sick. I'm sure my parents enjoyed those quite drives until we figured out he was lying to us in hopes to get us to sleep so we wouldn't fight.
In regards to #10 - my mom never made me eat spinach.
In regards to #15 - my little sister used to get mad and declare that she didn't like our family. My dad would always tell her that if she had been born elsewhere they would have named her Milicent Mugwump Magilicuti! I have no idea where he came up with that name, but it usually shut her up!

Quote on Courage

One of my friends in my online support group just shared a great quote that I had to post!

"Courage doesn't always roar.

Sometimes courage is that quiet voice

at the end of the day saying,

'I will try again."

I started another blog all about cooking

I don't know how often I will post to it, but it's entire purpose is cooking. Please check it out!

Sourbonk's Cookbook

The Gift of Adoption

The February Ensign has a great article this month about adoption. I was so embarrassed today when someone mentioned it in church. I hadn't even opened my Ensign yet. The LDS church did a wonderful job of putting it together and they made sure to tell about the miracle of adoption from the different parties involved. Click HERE to read the full article.

It starts with the story of a wonderful birth mom who became pregnant at age 16. Her journey toward her choice to place her child was amazing, but as always the case it is also heartbreaking. Here is a little part of her story.
"To say that I cried would be to put it mildly. My heart was full and broken at the same time. How could I feel such peace in a decision that brought so much pain? I later realized that I had brought much heartache and pain into my life and the lives of those intertwined with mine because I had let selfish desires override my long-term goals. But here, I had been given an opportunity to put aside what I wanted most—to keep this child—and to give her something better."
"Giving birth to a beautiful little girl was miraculous. I loved holding her and rocking her. She was so beautiful, and I cried many times her first night on earth. I knew that the next day would bring heartache when it was time to say good-bye.
What made that pain bearable was knowing that placing her for adoption was right. It was the hardest—but most right—thing I have ever done. I signed the papers through sheets of tears and then leaned on family and friends for support. My tears weren’t the only ones shed that day or in the days to come."

They then have a birth father tell his story. You don't hear as much about them, but they are just as incredible as the birth mothers. What an incredible man to realize that this responsibility doesn't always mean having to marry the girl simply out of obligation. It is better for a child to be raised in a family with both a mom and dad that love each other as much as they love their children. In some cases, it is best for the parents to marry. That is their decision to make. But if they realize that they would only be making things worse and instead choose to place their child in a family that it can become a part of eternally, that is true unconditional love. Here is the part of his story that just had me in tears.
"We felt strongly that our child was to go to these parents, a decision we felt confirmed in prayer and again later when Andrea and I met the family.
The day Jenna was born was more incredible and miraculous than we could ever have imagined. We kept her with us the first few days, and when the day came to take Jenna to her new family, we felt we couldn’t do it. Three hours after we were supposed to have been at the LDS Family Services office, we still hadn’t left my parents’ house. I asked my father to give each of us a priesthood blessing. Among the things he blessed us with was the ability to do the right thing.
We finally left for LDS Family Services. Again, we felt a strong Spirit confirming that this was the right thing, yet when Andrea and I stepped out of the office to return home, I felt the saddest I have ever felt. Neither of us said a word as we drove away. We just cried. That was the most difficult day of my life.
The next week—and the next month—were also hard. But Andrea and I kept moving forward as much as we could. Attending group sessions was helpful because parents who had been through what we were going through were there to talk about their experience, to encourage us, and to remind us not to give up hope in the future—for Jenna or for ourselves."

There is more people that are affected by adoption; the grandparents of the child. I can imagine that as a parent this would be heart wrenching. As parents we want to fix everything for our kids, but that's not always possible, especially when they become parents themselves.
"The day our grandson was born was a bittersweet one. What a beautiful baby! It would have been easy to change our minds—after all, children are raised by single mothers and grandparents all of the time. Surely we could do it too. But we knew the Lord’s will, and we knew that it was in this child’s best interest for the adoption to proceed. After spending two days with our daughter and grandson in the hospital, my wife and I watched with tears streaming down our faces as Katie handed her son to the caseworker. She exclaimed, “I can’t believe I just did that!” and ran back to her hospital room to cry. My wife later commented that she had never seen greater love than she did as she watched Katie that day. Adoption, she said, truly is about love."

The last story they tell, is to me, the most important one; the adopted child.
"One of my earliest memories is looking up at my mother after she had tucked me in and asking her if she would tell me a different bedtime story. After all, she had been telling me the same story every night for as long I could remember.
It always started with these words: “Once upon a time, there was a mommy and daddy who wanted very much to have a baby of their own.” It wasn’t a fable or a fairy tale but the story of our family and how I came to be a part of it. Because I had heard the story repeated so often, adoption was never a mysterious or uncomfortable topic. I learned from the beginning that I was meant to be with my family—I had just come a different way."

Now, I must take a moment here to get on my soap box. The story from the adopted child goes on to say that his parents were blessed with another miracle and they were able to produce children of their own after adopting her. I may have become mad at this point and put (threw) the article down. That really only happens to about 3% of infertile couples. I get so tired of hearing so-and-so adopted and then they had children of their own. First off, just having a child through pregnancy does not make them more your own verses adopting them. But the important part to remember is that adopting does not result in pregnancy. Yes, for those FEW that is happens to that is wonderful, but it really doesn't happen as often as the world thinks. That is why I never want to be pregnant. I don't want to be THAT person that is always mentioned to other infertile couples struggling to have children. Adoption is not a choice that is reached easily for most couples, and it usually isn't a QUICK FIX to parenthood. Adoption is the most spiritual thing a person can ever do with their life and should not be taken lightly. We know that we were chosen before coming to earth to adopt and only the most special couples get such a wonderful privilege.
With all that said, I should probably climb back down off the soap box, but if anyone ever suggests that our adopting will help us get pregnant, I may have to punch you. Consider yourself warned.
Oh, and please go read this article, The Gift of Adoption.

200

This is my 200th post and I want to do something special to mark the moment. But 200 is a big number. I don’t know that I could think of 200 things to name off except maybe books I own (I own around 250). That sounds long and boring.
I have already on numerous occasions listed things about me, but I fear to mention even more weird unknown facts about myself.
I thought about doing a tribute to my wonderful husband, but our anniversary is in a week so I am trying to save up all the compliments I can think of for then.
Since this blog is supposed to be about us trying to adopt I have chosen to take this moment and write a short essay of 200 words I would like to say to our birth mother when we have a child placed with us.

We will never understand the heartache and pain you have gone through as you have come to the decision to place your child, but we do understand how much you love this special little person that will bless all our lives.
We promise to raise this child with all the love we have and to make sure they know of the love you have for them. We hope that you will continue to be a part of our lives and be able to watch with us as your child grows up to be the person we all hope them to be. We know because of this selfless act of love that you are showing, they will be a better person. You have given us the most wonderful gift there is to give. A gift of love. A gift that means the world to us and will also mean the world to your child. A gift that will be a part of our family forever.
We will never be able to repay you for what you have given us, but not a day will pass that we won’t thank the Lord for you. We respect you, we love you. God bless.