Monday, July 13, 2015

Horse Ride for Vanessa's Birthday

I can't even remember how it came up, but Vanessa mentioned that she would love to go on a horse ride with us. Her birthday was on Friday, so we told her we would take her on Saturday. 

That morning, it was stormy, but we didn't want to cancel on her, so we just kept an eye on the weather. I had another activity I went to, so we decided we would see what the weather was like after I finished that. 

We couldn't go to Josh's favorite place, because the road was too muddy. But he found a spot just as beautiful near Moon Lake. 

As you can see, we had beautiful blue sky!


I hadn't been with Josh on the horses for over a year, so I was excited to go also.

But not near as excited as Vanessa was. She has loved horses ever since she was little, but has never really had a chance to pursue that passion.

I told Josh I didn't want to be too saddle sore the next day, so we didn't plan to go far. But then it started to rain and our ride was cut even shorter. By the time we got back to the truck, we were soaked clear through.

Our ride ended with a beautiful rainbow. Unfortunately, my camera got wet in my pocket and wouldn't turn on. By the time I got my phone out of the truck, the rainbow was gone. But I still had to take a picture of the storm cloud that caught us unaware. (I did put my camera in a bag of rice and it was fine the next day.)

It was a fun day and hopefully we can go again soon, but without the rain.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Colt's 1st Birthday

I can't believe this little boy is already 1!

As I was shopping (for just an few outfits), I realized...

I have no control when it comes to clothes. I feel bad, but when I buy clothes, I seem to spend more.

They wanted to do the smash cake first, while Cold was hungry.

He seemed perfectly content to just nibble on it.

After he finished, we cut it open to see how the inside turned out.

Colt was more interested in running around with the big kids, so most of my pictures turned out blurry.

I think this was my favorite picture. His blue eyes just melt my heart.

Colt's Birthday Cake

I was excited when Natalie said she wanted a smash cake for Colt's Birthday. That is something my family always did, so its one of the traditions I have missed most as a childless couple. I know I say this with each cake I make, but I think this one is my favorite. 

We looked at several ideas online. I was going to make a regular round cake, but then I found these cute little pans. The kit included 5 small pans that were six inches wide. It takes a full cake box to make the cake, but you get more layers. I loved how tall and small it was at the same time.
I also ordered some black fondant, a black sugar sheet, Mickey Mouse cupcake liners, Mickey Mouse sprinkles and a Mickey Mouse sandwich cutter, to use with the fondant since I'm not the best at free hand.

Since my cake was 5 layers, I decided to do alternating layers of black & red.

I also made cupcakes for the guests.

The sandwich cutter was perfect for the fondant. I put one Mickey silhouette on top and then three more silhouettes around the side.
I used the sugar sheet to cut out small Mickey silhouettes to use on the cupcakes. They are edible, but I didn't think they tasted that great. But they were perfect to decorate with!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

My Tribute to Anthony

My heart is heavy. 

This weekend, my cousin passed away in a car wreck. He would have turned 23 next month. 

Truthfully, we weren't close. But that's part of the reason I can't understand why it hurts so much.

He was so young. He was an amazing man.

Each time the tears start to spill, I focus on my thoughts, to understand my pain. 
I've realized a few things.

I mourn for the loss of life. So many things he'll never get to experience.

I mourn because he was family. I was saddened a few weeks ago when a young man in our community was killed. But this time, its a million times worse. He was family. Closeness or not, that makes it harder to comprehend.

But most of all, I mourn for his family. His parents. I can't even imagine the pain of loosing one of your children. One moment, everything is fine. The next moment, you receive that phone call that no parent should ever receive.

I mourn for his siblings; one brother and three sisters. Just thinking of them trying to pick up the pieces and move on... I loose it. Not only did they loose a brother, but they lost an uncle to their children. They lost a best friend.

I keep thinking of the right words to take away their pain. Only to realize, those words don't exist. Here is the best I can come up with.

I wish I could tell you that the pain will go away. But I think that would imply that you would forget the pain and therefore, forget the love also. But someday, the pain won't hurt as much. Hopefully, someday you will be able to think of Anthony and smile and only have a small tear escape your eye. Someday, the pain will lessen enough that you'll feel like you can breathe again.

Its okay to take time to mourn. But remember that death is only final for the dead. The living are the ones that are left behind. Step by step, you will find a way to move on. Anthony will always be in your hearts. One day, you will realize its okay to move on. 

Its okay to ask for help. When I reached my lowest point, I was on the brink of hurting myself, or worse. I thought that if I sought professional health, it meant I was too weak. I thought I should be strong enough to do it on my own and others would think less of me if I couldn't. I was wrong. I think in the end, I never would have taken that final step to end my pain, but reaching out for help was one of the best things I ever did. 

Please remember you are not alone. God loves you. Over the last few days, I have felt that so much. I think that is why I have cried so much. Your pain is His pain. I know that is this all a part of His bigger plan. He knew it would hurt, but He is there for you.