Friday, February 13, 2009

Re-Introduction

Welcome to my blog (again). When I first entered the blogging world my purpose was to create something that would make it easier for our birth parents to stay a part of our lives. I wanted a place where I could post picture and stories of our children as they grew.

Then something happened; I became addicted. I pride myself on not being too caught up in this technical age. I don't text, in fact, all I do with my cell phone is make phone calls (because that's what I think a cell phone should be used for). We still own the original PlayStation. I joined Face book and thought it to be lame. But blogging...I was totally caught up in that.

Something amazing has happened over the last 6 months. I have been able to let go of pain, to finally forgive, and to heal. I think blogging has helped with that. It amazes me that when I write things down it helps release the pressure that was built up behind the pain.

At first I was scared to share my feelings, to expose myself like that. But it's hard keeping up a brave face all day and then crying in my bed all night. I started numerous posts about our infertility, only to delete them because I thought they would reveal too much. But then I realized that they would only reveal the truth. I am only human. I have my own trials and sometimes they are hard. But each day life goes on and that is why I try to put a smile on my face and trudge on forward.

Choosing a new title for this blog was harder than I thought it would be. The humor in me wanted to do something funny, some catchy, something original yet slightly strange. But a part of me wanted to make a title that could become my new mantra. Something that would inspire me to keep hoping, to keep dreaming, to have faith.

There is a song by Michael McLean called "Something Perfect." I hope that some day soon we will be living this song.

There's an ache that's missing today.
There's an emptiness that's been filled.
There's a cloud that's lifting and drifting away.
There's a ragin' storm that's been stilled.
There's a joy that's real.
There's a wound that's finally healed.
There's a future replacing a past.
There's breath of new life in the cast.

And there's something perfect happening here.
And this moment will bury the mountains of fear.
And through countless tomorrows it won't disappear.
This something that's perfect happening here.

No one knows, so no one can say
That tomorrow all will be well.
Will the brightest promise that shines on today
Shine tomorrow? No one can tell.
But one thing is sure
And will be forever more
When such unselfish love has been given.
The world just made more room for Heaven.

And there's something perfect happening here.
And this moment will bury the mountains of fear.
And through countless tomorrows it won't disappear.
This something that's perfect happening here.

I wanted to name my blog Something Perfect. I wanted it to be a reminder to look for something perfect in my life everyday. I have a nice home in the most beautiful country that God created. I have my kittens. I have a great family and wonderful friends. And I am married to the most wonderful man there is. He loves me and does his best to show me that everyday.

Unfortunately that name was taken. I tried several other song titles that inspire me, but I kept coming back to this song. That is when Countless Tomorrows jumped out at me. Everyday is a new day and we have plenty of tomorrows to look forward to. I can't wait.

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