An ALMOST total disappointment...

There was an adoption conference this week in Provo and Sandy. It wasn't sponsored by our agency, but I decided to go and try to learn some new things since we are thinking about trans racial and international adoption more and more these days.

The one in Provo was supposed to be on trans racial adoption, but I would have titled it "These guys are working on their desertions for their degrees and for some unknown reason they are trying to do studies on trans racial adoption even though they have no valid link to the adoption world with a guest speaker who is probably more anti-adoption than pro-adoption."

I was so excited when I left the house yesterday morning (before daylight I may add). I was a few minutes late, but that's because I went to the wrong building. When I got there this cute little (she was like 5 feet tall!) grandma iwas talking about a 20 year study she did. I loved her. She has several adopted bi-racial children and she loves them. It was so refreshing.

Then we had the other guest speaker. He once lived next to someone in Vermont who adopted a bi-racial child and he decided to do a study on it, but I think someone forgot to tell him we would want to see the positive side. The video was 77 grueling minutes long. I loved the guy, who during the Q&A, asked the film maker why all he showed was the challenges and not the rewards. The film maker just kind of skirted around that question.

Lunch was okay, but I was able to meet some new great people in the adoption world. I think that was the only adoption related thing at the conference; just us crazy people who have adopted or who want to adopt that were in attendance.

The session I was most excited for was a big let down. The schedule said Trans National and we have been thinking more about that since Sunday (more to come on those details) so I went. He showed a few charts about different countries and which seems to be the biggest for adoption right now. Then he asked who there had adopted internationally and if he could interview them for his study. THAT WAS IT! We didn't discuss the different things you need to do, we didn't discuss how much to spend, how long it takes. NONE OF MY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS were talked about.

The next session was a little better, but once again it was a student conducting a study. And really her's wasn't really about adoption, but mixed race families. It was informative and I really enjoyed her speech, but it would have been better at a different conference I think.

The only highlight of the day (besides the new friends I made) was the adoptee panel. IT WAS AMAZING! They had 5 people come in and share their adoption stories. They were beautiful and uplifting. I feel in love with everyone of them. They had great advice and they did admit to some things being hard, but the love they felt for their families was very positive. I wanted to find the film maker and tell him to throw his old video in the garbage and make it using these guys.

Then back to disappointment. The next guy has a passion and that is numbers. He took the 2000 Census and threw some numbers together in confusing ways. I'm still not sure what message I was supposed to get from him. Then another doctoral student spoke and to me he was trying say everything he could to say trans racial adoption probably isn't a good thing. He was African American and I didn't like how he kept saying "my people" and "your people." At this point I want the adoptee panel to come back!

I didn't stay for the last guy. I was too discouraged. I realize that trans racial adoption comes with extra difficulties, but I know it all can't be bad. In the car I looked at the schedule for Wed. & Thurs. and decided my emotional state could not handle more of the same thing so I decided to come home.

I was supposed to take notes for my friends that couldn't go. I am sorry to say that I was not impressed and will not go to this particular conference again. But during the entire day that was a handful of things that I did like or that gave me pause to think:
1- African Americans will probably have problems no matter where they are raised. As a society we really need to get our act together and quit looking at color of skin and rather look at their character that lies within.
2- It probably is best that they are raced by someone of their culture and skin color, but in not, then they just need to be raised by a loving family.
3- Kids don't seem to notice they have a different skin color until they are about four or five years old.
4- Children raised by parents of a different color seem to find the religion of their family and how that is taught more important than the color of their skin. I could probably say that in a more understandable way, but I'm not sure how to word it. Several of the adoptees mentioned it. Their families taught them that God doesn't see in color and that he loves all his children. That was important to them.

If you were at the conference on Tuesday and had a better time, I would love to hear from you! And if you enjoyed it, sorry if my thoughts upset you. We have only recently decided to consider trans racial adoption and I was hoping yesterday could have been a better learning opportunity. I have not let it discourage me away from trans racial adoption.

To make myself feel better and feel like my day hadn't been a complete waste I stopped at Bridal Veil Falls on my way out of Provo. I only had my little camera since I had planned to be gone for several days and didn't want to worry about my big camera. But once again I am amazed that my little camera is a great camera.