Peeling back the onion that is my life.
LAYER 1:Tell us your...
* Name: Savannah
* Birthday (month, day): January 10
* Birthplace: Utah
* Current location: Utah – about 30 minutes from where I grew up
* Eye color: Brown
* Hair color: Brown
* Height: 5'6"
* Righty or lefty: Righty
* Zodiac sign: I think I am a Capricorn, but I don’t get into that stuff. I do know that Josh and I have the same one.
LAYER 2:What's...
* Your heritage: Ummm, Mom would you please post a comment that list my heritage? Thank you!
* The shoes you wore today: Blue Cowboy Boots
* Your weakness: Chocolate and Diet Dr. Pepper.
* Your fears: spiders, being alone, living without Josh
* Your perfect pizza: lots of pineapple and colored peppers
* Goals you’d like to achieve: Motherhood!
* Your first waking thoughts: I shouldn’t have pushed snooze some many times!
* Your best physical feature: Smile
*Your most missed memory: I don’t think there is a point in my life that I want to revisit. I hated high school. I love being married, so I think I am living the best part of my life right now. It can only get better.
LAYER 3:Do you...
* Smoke: No
* Cuss: No
* Sing: Only when no one is around.
* Do you think you’ve been in love: That’s why I married him!
* Did you go to college: I attended the local extension, so I never had to leave home.
* Liked high school: Please don’t ever mention that again!
* Want to get/stay married: Like I said above, I can’t imagine my life any other way.
* Believe in yourself: I’m usually pretty good at that.
* Think you’re attractive: Yes
* Think you’re a health freak: Nope, not at all. I wish I was better than I am. I wish I could give up the Diet Dr. Pepper.
* Get along with your parent(s): Yes
* Like thunderstorms: I love them.
* Play an instrument: The Piano, but I don’t play as much as I would like to, but that’s my own fault. I need to do it more.
LAYER 4:In the past month have you…
* Drank alcohol: Never have and never will
* Smoked: Ditto
* Done a drug: Ditto
* Made out: Let’s just say I love that part of being married….
* Gone on a date: We went to Twilight twice and will probably go again next week.
* Gone to the mall: That’s like a twice a year thing for me.
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Not in the same setting…
* Eaten sushi: Never!
* Been on stage: No.
* Gone skating: It’s been years and years since I went skating.
* Gone skinny dipping: No.
* Stolen anything: No.
LAYER 5:Have you ever…
* Played a game that required removal of clothing: Only in my bedroom with my husband.
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No.
* Been caught “doing something”: “Doing" what? Drugs, Alcohol, & tobacco have never been a part of my life. But there was that time right after we were married that someone came to our house when we were still in our honeymoon stage.
* Been called a tease: No
* Gotten beaten up: No
* Shoplifted: No.
--It's looks like I'm a pretty good girl!
LAYER 6:
* Age you did get/hope to be married: I was 18.
* Numbers and names of children (either you have or want): Ashlynn Barbara and Michael Clayton. We defiantly want 2 kids but we might have 3. We haven’t really talked about names for a 3rd child. If it was a boy I would like: Brock, Asa, Ryder, Ransom. I’m not sure for a girl. I liked Caitlyn, but now I have cousin named Kaitlyn. I also like Jordan and Brittany for a girl.
* Describe your dream mate: I don’t have to dream about him, I’m married to him. Josh is really all I could ask for. I guess if I could dream about him, I would have him already finished with school, but there isn’t anything I would change about him.
* How do you want to die: At the same time as Josh. I hope we are both sleeping when it happens.
* What did you want to be when you grow up: A wife and a mother.
* What country would you most like to visit: Maybe Italy, but only because I like their food so much. Somewhere where I could see a lot of pretty landscapes and mountain terrain.
LAYER 7: Now tell...
* Name a person you could trust with your life: Josh
* Name a favorite CD that you own: SheDaisy
* Number of piercing: 1 in each ear.
* Number of tattoos: I hate needles! Plus I think tattoos are ugly.
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: My wedding announcement.
* Name a past experience that you regret: I have grown so much from my trials and sorrows that I don’t think I could regret them. Sure they were hard and painful, but I like that place I am now in my life and I think that going through those trials was the only way to get to where I am now. It's feels so good to say that!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Life is Crazy!
I want to blog but I can't find the time! "Santa" has a 13 jobs in nine days plus we are hoping to find the time to just swing by and visit two other families. I have a few pictures that I will try to upload after all of this is over with.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
I usually don't go into the parties where Josh is Santa, but I did last night so I could take a few picutres. Isn't this first one the cutest picture ever! He asked for Rudolph for Christmas! Next week will be a busy week for Santa; I'll try to take more pictures.
Quick Update
Sorry I haven't posted much. December is hectic (that's why I hate this month; it's run, run, run, run). So, real quick, here is an update:
*I almost have my Christmas shopping done and the gifts I am making are almost done also (wow, I didn't think that would be possible!).
*I love my new camera.
*Yesterday was my first attempt to make Divinity. It was divine! We also made Brickle, Candy Bar Squares, and Mounds Balls.
*Josh has already had 3 Santa jobs. He has one every night next week; some nights he has 2.
*It finally started to snow this weekend. Every year we remember to leave the bathroom sink dripping so our water doesn't freeze, but we forget that the kitchen sink will still freeze if we don't run it also.
*I probably won't be able to fix our adoption website until after the Holiday's because life feels so busy already!
*I almost have my Christmas shopping done and the gifts I am making are almost done also (wow, I didn't think that would be possible!).
*I love my new camera.
*Yesterday was my first attempt to make Divinity. It was divine! We also made Brickle, Candy Bar Squares, and Mounds Balls.
*Josh has already had 3 Santa jobs. He has one every night next week; some nights he has 2.
*It finally started to snow this weekend. Every year we remember to leave the bathroom sink dripping so our water doesn't freeze, but we forget that the kitchen sink will still freeze if we don't run it also.
*I probably won't be able to fix our adoption website until after the Holiday's because life feels so busy already!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
What Have I Done?
I saw this awhile back and skipped over it, but since I haven't blogged much this month I thought I would do today.
What Have I Done?(mine are in bold)
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band – I play the piano, does that count?
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower - I've seen a couple since we moved to the country. They are really cool to watch.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity – I just barely did this for the local angel tree. I felt so guilty when I saw this question that is seemed to drive me to try and do more this year.
7. Been to Disneyland – and yet all I can remember from the 1st trip is that we had to walk along the freeway and look for something that fell off the truck, I think it was a hubcap.
8. Climbed a mountain – but not a big mountain, I took this to mean I have gone hiking in the mountains
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - but only because sometimes the primary kids won’t sing with me…
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch – I don’t know if it’s the same thing, but I have seen projects and recreated them by myself
15. Adopted a child – working on that….
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables – not by myself but I did helped my dad when I was a kid and I have helped my in-laws (“help” is being used very lightly in both cases, mostly all I did was pick some peas and eat them).
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked - but I did pick one up once. I knew who it was!
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill – it’s been awhile. I haven’t done that with this job yet, but I did with my last job.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb - or a baby pygmy goat
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse – I didn’t watch the entire thing, but I did get up in the middle of the night to see parts of it.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset – with Josh on my 17th birthday. It was the start to a wonderful day…
31. Hit a home run – ya right, I hate baseball!
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language – I took Sign Language in High school, but I don’t remember much of it.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - is that possible? But I can say we’ve had enough to meet our needs
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing – I got stuck on a ledge…
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business- does selling Scentsy as an Independent Consultant count?
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma – but I don’t think I will do it again. I didn’t enjoy the experience…
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy- my favorite Barbie doll
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt – no, but I have tied a few…
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle – the guy told me he would go fast because it makes the girls hold on tighter…
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper – like a wedding announcement...
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House8
7. Killed and prepared an animal for eating – Josh shoots the deer, but I help cut & wrap it and then later cook it.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life -I had a friend tell me she took a whole bottle of pills so we got the school to call the hospital for her.
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous – Stone Cold Steve Austen (WWE Wrestler) & Ann M. Martin (Babysitter’s Club author)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
What Have I Done?(mine are in bold)
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band – I play the piano, does that count?
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower - I've seen a couple since we moved to the country. They are really cool to watch.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity – I just barely did this for the local angel tree. I felt so guilty when I saw this question that is seemed to drive me to try and do more this year.
7. Been to Disneyland – and yet all I can remember from the 1st trip is that we had to walk along the freeway and look for something that fell off the truck, I think it was a hubcap.
8. Climbed a mountain – but not a big mountain, I took this to mean I have gone hiking in the mountains
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo - but only because sometimes the primary kids won’t sing with me…
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch – I don’t know if it’s the same thing, but I have seen projects and recreated them by myself
15. Adopted a child – working on that….
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables – not by myself but I did helped my dad when I was a kid and I have helped my in-laws (“help” is being used very lightly in both cases, mostly all I did was pick some peas and eat them).
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked - but I did pick one up once. I knew who it was!
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill – it’s been awhile. I haven’t done that with this job yet, but I did with my last job.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb - or a baby pygmy goat
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse – I didn’t watch the entire thing, but I did get up in the middle of the night to see parts of it.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset – with Josh on my 17th birthday. It was the start to a wonderful day…
31. Hit a home run – ya right, I hate baseball!
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language – I took Sign Language in High school, but I don’t remember much of it.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - is that possible? But I can say we’ve had enough to meet our needs
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing – I got stuck on a ledge…
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business- does selling Scentsy as an Independent Consultant count?
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma – but I don’t think I will do it again. I didn’t enjoy the experience…
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy- my favorite Barbie doll
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt – no, but I have tied a few…
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle – the guy told me he would go fast because it makes the girls hold on tighter…
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper – like a wedding announcement...
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House8
7. Killed and prepared an animal for eating – Josh shoots the deer, but I help cut & wrap it and then later cook it.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life -I had a friend tell me she took a whole bottle of pills so we got the school to call the hospital for her.
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous – Stone Cold Steve Austen (WWE Wrestler) & Ann M. Martin (Babysitter’s Club author)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
Merry Christmas...To Me!
I guess living with Santa has it advantages. I got my Christmas present last night. 
Okay maybe Santa didn't give it to me; instead it was a wonderful husband who will let me do just about whatever I want. I received my Christmas bonus (part of which was a new digital camera, just not the one I had picked out) and told him I was finally going to buy this camera I have been looking at since July. Even though he knew it would take most of the bonus he said I could. I bought it last night. He said I should put it under the tree until Christmas but I gave him my big puppy dog eyes and he said I could have it now. (That's good since I already had the battery charging).
Okay maybe Santa didn't give it to me; instead it was a wonderful husband who will let me do just about whatever I want. I received my Christmas bonus (part of which was a new digital camera, just not the one I had picked out) and told him I was finally going to buy this camera I have been looking at since July. Even though he knew it would take most of the bonus he said I could. I bought it last night. He said I should put it under the tree until Christmas but I gave him my big puppy dog eyes and he said I could have it now. (That's good since I already had the battery charging).Of course it works both ways. This morning he went online to order his Christmas present, which is a new gun stock, and asked if he could have two. When I stopped to think about it he gave me the same puppy dog eyes I gave him last night and so I had to say yes. Good thing most of our shopping is done. I hope to finish it tonight so I can bake with my in-laws on Saturday.
It will be nice to have the shopping done, but I still need to finish the gifts I am making. What a headache! It's been fun to make, but it was a big project. Next year I think I will think seriously about going to generic gifts from stores. It seems less stressful....
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Good News, Bad News
The good news is that our new LDS Adoption Website is up and running. You can view it at http://beta.itsaboutlove.org and type in our profile number 7275236. The bad news is that some of the pictures did not work very well. I'm not sure why. Once I figured out how to re-size them I did them all the same way. Needless to say I am a little frustrated (okay I lied I am VERY frustrated). These websites have been so much work and for them to not look professional just frustrates me. On Parent Profiles (which we are still working on) you can actually preview the website and see exactly what it will look like once it is published, but with the LDS websites you can't do that (WHY?!).
Anyhoodle, I debated actually letting the world know about this website, but I realized that potential birth moms could look at it, so I decided to let every one know so they can look for any errors that need fixed. I am trying to learn more about the pictures and hope to have them fixed soon and would like to fix anything else at the same time.
Another bit of good news is that we aren't in the 10 longest waiting families section.
Anyhoodle, I debated actually letting the world know about this website, but I realized that potential birth moms could look at it, so I decided to let every one know so they can look for any errors that need fixed. I am trying to learn more about the pictures and hope to have them fixed soon and would like to fix anything else at the same time.
Another bit of good news is that we aren't in the 10 longest waiting families section.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Gratitude Day 30
"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it."
I have really enjoyed thinking of a Gratitude every day. Some days I had to think harder to come up with some, but I am so GRATEFUL for all that I have. I've got it pretty good. I have a great husband who loves me and treats me like a queen. We have a nice home with beautiful views. We have family nearby that we are able to see often. We have 3 kittens who keep us entertained. We have enought to meet our needs and sometimes a little extra for some fun. I have grown so much over the last years and I hope that I am a better person because of it. If I take a minute to look at the big picture, I really have a good life with little to complain about.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Gratitude Day 29
I am GRATEFUL for a nice peaceful evening (that means I ignored the sink full of dishes and decided we could eat leftovers for dinner). Not only did I get the chance to read my new book, Love Me, but I also finished it (that's right, I can read an entire book in one day!). It was so good! Oh, it's not my new favorite of hers, but once again Marcia Lynn McClure has managed to captivate me.
These books always make me think back to when Josh & I were dating. I can remember our first date. A big group of friends went to the park and I had invited Josh. I was tired of waiting for him to ask me out (apparently he was waiting until hunting season was over...). All night he kept trying to hold my hand. I would get nervous and pull my hand away and then try to start a grass fight or something else to keep my hand away. But he finally prevailed. At one point all the couples started to break off and we ended up cuddling in the soccer net. It was so...wonderful. It felt so right. After that I didn't try to take my hand away from him.
Our first kiss was just a quick peck really. I'm sure he was so nervous that's all he could do. And he should have been nervous, he kissed me on our second date! Then it scared him and he didn't kiss me again for several dates. A few dates later he wrote me a letter (I bet I still have it somewhere!) and in it he asked if it was okay if he kissed me again. Isn't that the sweetest thing ever!! Being the tease that I was I told him I had to think about. And I did. That's all I had done since our first kiss! The next day we went horseback riding and that is when he kissed me again. It was heaven.
I am GRATEFUL I married a man who is such a wonderful and passionate kisser! I am GRATEFUL for such a wonderful, persistent man who kept trying to win my heart even when I wasn't always the most receptive of him, but that is probably a story for another day...
These books always make me think back to when Josh & I were dating. I can remember our first date. A big group of friends went to the park and I had invited Josh. I was tired of waiting for him to ask me out (apparently he was waiting until hunting season was over...). All night he kept trying to hold my hand. I would get nervous and pull my hand away and then try to start a grass fight or something else to keep my hand away. But he finally prevailed. At one point all the couples started to break off and we ended up cuddling in the soccer net. It was so...wonderful. It felt so right. After that I didn't try to take my hand away from him.
Our first kiss was just a quick peck really. I'm sure he was so nervous that's all he could do. And he should have been nervous, he kissed me on our second date! Then it scared him and he didn't kiss me again for several dates. A few dates later he wrote me a letter (I bet I still have it somewhere!) and in it he asked if it was okay if he kissed me again. Isn't that the sweetest thing ever!! Being the tease that I was I told him I had to think about. And I did. That's all I had done since our first kiss! The next day we went horseback riding and that is when he kissed me again. It was heaven.
I am GRATEFUL I married a man who is such a wonderful and passionate kisser! I am GRATEFUL for such a wonderful, persistent man who kept trying to win my heart even when I wasn't always the most receptive of him, but that is probably a story for another day...
I'm Feeling Torn...
It's finally here! Marcia Lynn McClure's new book Love Me. I have been waiting weeks for this book, literally! At the first of November she announced it's release date around the 18th. So first thing that morning I went online and purchased it. I even paid the extra shipping to get it here faster. And then I waited... Surely it would be here by Thanksgiving? But then I waited some more and even some more.Finally on Monday I emailed her and asked where my book was. They were kind to inform me that there had been problems with the shipment and they would hopefully get it in that week and be able to mail my copy. The great part was to soothe me over they gave me the info. to download a free e-book. She has several that you can purchase, but I keep hoping she will print them so I can just purchase them and read them at my leisure. Well leisure is not best word. When I get her new books I read them as fast as I can. She is the best author EVER! But soon after I finish her books I find myself going back to them to read them again, and again, and again
I'm not hip on e-books. It's just not as much fun to sit at the computer and read from the screen. I prefer to do my reading while cuddled up on the couch or recliner in a blanket or while taking a hot bath. I read Stephenie Meyer's unfinished Edward book on the computer and I really liked the book but I could only read so far before I became uncomfortable and had to stop for while. But nevertheless, if my favorite author is going to give me a free e-book you bet I'll read it; as soon as I have the time...
Today is the first time I've had a chance to download the book Sweet Cherry Ray. I read the 1st chapter and it is awesome! Then my other book came in the mail today. I read the 1st chapter of it during lunch. I can usually read more than one book at once but when they are both by my favorite author I can't seem to keep them straight. So now I don't know which one to read first! I'm already caught up in both of them!
Don't worry, after this weekend it won't be a problem. I'll have them both read by then...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Gratitude Day 28
Since I have spent so much time having a pity party lately I thought maybe I should talk about the things I am GRATEFUL for in regards to our infertility. It was a hard thing to go through but I know it could have been worse.
I am GRATEFUL I never had a miscarriage. I have met people who have gone through that and I admire them for being able to survive it. I know they must have dealt with an enormous amount of pain, but I will never completely understand that. With my family history I always knew it was a possibility to miscarry and it terrified me. I am GRATEFUL that that Lord seemed to think that was a trial I didn't need to go through. I am also GRATEFUL that we learned so quickly that we needed to adopt. I am GRATEFUL to a dear friend who convinced us to test Josh. If we hadn't of, we may have continued onto other avenues trying to achieve a pregnancy. Trying to conceive is not a cheap thing. I am GRATEFUL that we weren't into it with a lot of money before we realized what path we needed to pursue.
I am GRATEFUL for wonderful friends who suggested different things we could try. It has really touched my heart. I received more advice today and I appreciate it. If we didn't feel so strongly about adoption we would maybe consider this advice. I am GRATEFUL to the wonderful people who embraced us when we announced we were going to adopt. It is a scary thing to consider, but we had some great family and friends who have been with us since we made the announcement.
I am GRATEFUL for the wonderful people we have met that are also going through this same trial. There is strength in numbers and I think I finally understand what it means to stand in need of comfort to those who need it.
Even though I am still saddened about our infertility I am GRATEFUL at how fast I was able to accept that a pregnancy was not meant for me. I am GRATEFUL that I don't have to be pregnant: just think I get to miss out on morning sickness, heartburn, swollen feet, swollen belly, sore back, tiredness, labor, etc. and yet I still get to have a baby someday. I am GRATEFUL that both Josh and I feel so strongly about adoption. We both have our own testimonies about it and we have always been able to agree it was best for our family.
I am most GRATEFUL for a wonderful, loving husband who has been there for me every step of the way through this journey. Never once did we question our love for each other or did we wonder "what if". We have gone through this together and grown so much closer because of it. Just thinking of him with our child seems to make it all worth it. He is going to be a great dad someday. I know there is some struggling with infertility trials that are much worse than mine. I know their pain is great and my heart goes out to them.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Gratitude Day 27
I have received a lot of feed back from our infertility blogs and I am GRATEFUL for that. I am also GRATEFUL that I wrote it. It is the hardest blog I've ever written, but it seemed to help me feel better. I was able to look back over it and go "Wow, I survived that. I must be pretty strong." I have learned two things from it. First, It is easy to forgive, but it is hard to forget. I have come to terms with what I have been through, but that doesn't mean I stopped hurting. It doesn't hurt constantly like it used too, but every now and then something will trigger a memory and if I stop to think about it, it still hurts. The other thing I have learned is that time heals all wounds. When I think about my infertility these days I can do it without crying and I can even smile about it because we feel so special that we get to adopt. To those of you who took it as a personal assault against you I apologize. I really was just trying to get my emotions out and hopefully maybe give people a better understanding of what we have lived through. My intent was never to make someone feel guilty because they have been blessed with children. I am happy for those who have been blessed with children. Children are wonderful joys and I want everyone to be able to experience that.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Josh's Infertility Story (written by Josh)
Hello everyone, I am trying my hand at this blogging thing. I'm pretty technology resistant but after Savannah posted her Infertility journal I felt that I needed to be part of this thing too. I will start off by saying that I am very excited to adopt, maybe even more so than Savannah, I just don't always show emotion as well. That being said let me tell you all my story of our infertility.
In 2005 we decide we are ready to start a family. I could see myself holding a newborn in the hospital, grinning ear to ear, lightly kissing my beautiful wife on the head and beaming with joy. That didn't happen. We tried and nothing, tried again and nothing. I have never done anything harder in the world than to look in Savannah's eyes after a failed pregnancy test; the hurt that was there was slowly killing me. I think deep down I was worried that it was all my fault for not being able to give her children, I felt like a failure as a husband, after every failed test I just wanted to die.
February 2007, I spent my anniversary getting tested, by far the worst test I have ever taken. Savannah took me to Cabela's but deep down I already knew the results and I felt like less of a man at that point in my life. I knew I would fail and that meant that I was a failure as a husband.
March 2007, While driving home from work one night I heard a Hallmark card commercial on the radio about a woman getting a card for her sister who had just adopted a child. It was like I had finally woken up; I knew without a doubt at that point that we would adopt, and all my feelings of being a failure went away. The painful aching hole in my chest didn't hurt quite as bad and I didn't feel like any less of a man. In fact I felt excited, I would get to adopt and that would make our child very special.
Later in March 2007, Test results came back and confirmed what I already knew in my heart, we were going to adopt. I was very excited I couldn't wait and I still can't.
Summer 2007, We attended our very first Birth mother panel and like Savannah has already said it was AWESOME! I had an understanding of what adoption was all about and I could hardly contain myself, we were going to get the chance to have a birth mother of our own and I was very, very happy. Also we attended our first FSA conference, again AWESOME, I can't even put into words the happiness I felt.
Many things have followed since then, Paperwork, home study, and lots of waiting. I am trying to be patient but it is hard sometimes. I don't feel like a failure anymore, but the aching hole is still there in my chest. It will take a successful adoption and hopefully the acceptance of a few people to fill that void. I can't wait to get that call, the one that says we have a baby. I'll yell it out to all the world, grin from ear to ear, and kiss my beautiful wife on the head. I'll feel whole again and I can't wait for that. Anyone can be a parent but only the most special people can be adoptive parents, and only the very most special people can be the birth parents who will make their dreams come true.
In 2005 we decide we are ready to start a family. I could see myself holding a newborn in the hospital, grinning ear to ear, lightly kissing my beautiful wife on the head and beaming with joy. That didn't happen. We tried and nothing, tried again and nothing. I have never done anything harder in the world than to look in Savannah's eyes after a failed pregnancy test; the hurt that was there was slowly killing me. I think deep down I was worried that it was all my fault for not being able to give her children, I felt like a failure as a husband, after every failed test I just wanted to die.
February 2007, I spent my anniversary getting tested, by far the worst test I have ever taken. Savannah took me to Cabela's but deep down I already knew the results and I felt like less of a man at that point in my life. I knew I would fail and that meant that I was a failure as a husband.
March 2007, While driving home from work one night I heard a Hallmark card commercial on the radio about a woman getting a card for her sister who had just adopted a child. It was like I had finally woken up; I knew without a doubt at that point that we would adopt, and all my feelings of being a failure went away. The painful aching hole in my chest didn't hurt quite as bad and I didn't feel like any less of a man. In fact I felt excited, I would get to adopt and that would make our child very special.
Later in March 2007, Test results came back and confirmed what I already knew in my heart, we were going to adopt. I was very excited I couldn't wait and I still can't.
Summer 2007, We attended our very first Birth mother panel and like Savannah has already said it was AWESOME! I had an understanding of what adoption was all about and I could hardly contain myself, we were going to get the chance to have a birth mother of our own and I was very, very happy. Also we attended our first FSA conference, again AWESOME, I can't even put into words the happiness I felt.
Many things have followed since then, Paperwork, home study, and lots of waiting. I am trying to be patient but it is hard sometimes. I don't feel like a failure anymore, but the aching hole is still there in my chest. It will take a successful adoption and hopefully the acceptance of a few people to fill that void. I can't wait to get that call, the one that says we have a baby. I'll yell it out to all the world, grin from ear to ear, and kiss my beautiful wife on the head. I'll feel whole again and I can't wait for that. Anyone can be a parent but only the most special people can be adoptive parents, and only the very most special people can be the birth parents who will make their dreams come true.
Gratitude Day 26
Today we went back to working our 8-hour days which means no more Friday's off until March. I think I cried this morning and I know I will cry on Friday morning when the alarm goes off. Therefore I thought that today I should try to look at the positive aspects of working an 8-hour day. I am GRATEFUL that I can sleep in a little later each day. I should be a good girl and still get up at the same time and do housework, but I don't. I am also GRATEFUL that it wasn't dark when we left to come home today. The day does seem to go a little faster and I am GRATEFUL for that too.
That's it. That's all I can think of. But I will forget all of it on Friday when I have to go to work so I don't know if I am extremely GRATEFUL or if I am just trying to see the positive in what I think is not a wonderful thing. I have to work the next 13 Friday's. Well, I guess we get the 26th of this month off, so only 12. I think I can plan on two things: I'll have to work real hard to not be cranky on Friday's and my house probably won't get another good cleaning until I have Friday's off again.
That's it. That's all I can think of. But I will forget all of it on Friday when I have to go to work so I don't know if I am extremely GRATEFUL or if I am just trying to see the positive in what I think is not a wonderful thing. I have to work the next 13 Friday's. Well, I guess we get the 26th of this month off, so only 12. I think I can plan on two things: I'll have to work real hard to not be cranky on Friday's and my house probably won't get another good cleaning until I have Friday's off again.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Gratitude Day 25
Today we had my family up for a late Thanksgiving Day. When my mom told my sister I was cooking it, my sister stated that I don't cook. Well I didn't when I still lived at home. But that was then...Now, I make the best Thanksgiving dinner! I am GRATEFUL for my family and also for the great compliments they dished out all night! Yes, I am that good. I once baked a cake and a girl told me it was a "multiple piece" cake. When I asked her what that meant she said, "It was so good I couldn't stop at two pieces and had to have three."
I am also GRATEFUL for mother. After dinner tonight she offered to do dishes, but instead I had her look at our adoption profiles to check for errors. I just need to fix a few things and then maybe we can get them up and running!
I am also GRATEFUL for mother. After dinner tonight she offered to do dishes, but instead I had her look at our adoption profiles to check for errors. I just need to fix a few things and then maybe we can get them up and running!
Chickens in the Headlights
I just finished reading the funniest books! Well okay, I've read the first one before. Chickens in the Headlights, by Matthew Buckley, is a book about a family with 7 boys under the age of 11. SEVEN! Can you imagine? This book has me laughing from page one. At one point in the book I usually laugh so hard that Josh has to remind me to breathe. Here is just an excerpt to get everyone interested:
Dad opened the side door of the van and then began to give each one of us our assignments.
"I'll go inside," he said. "Simon, you stand here by the door and shoo them toward the van. Peter, Matthew, you stand here and here and make sure they stay in single file between the two of you. John, you stand here by the van and lift them up if there are any that can't jump that high."
His plan seemed rational and logical. I pictured Dad shooing the chickens out one by one. They would head straight out of the pen in single fine, and Simon would point them toward the van. The chickens would march between Peter and myself, and then either jump in the van or wait to be helped by John. Perfect.
The part that follows is where I just can't stop laughing. I guess I can visualize it so well because Josh's family has chickens and I can just picture this plan in action.
The 2nd book is Bullies in the Headlights, by Matthew Buckley, and it is just as funny.
We were a pretty special class because we had nine kids, seven of us boys. We were so special that for a while, before Brother Winston came, it seemed that everybody wanted to be our teacher. They took turns coming to our class, and it seemed like we had a new teacher every two weeks. I guess everybody wanted a turn to teach us. Or maybe they were auditioning teachers to see who was the best.
Then one day, in walked Brother Winston. He had an open bag of licorice in one hand. We had been bribed with candy before, and it often made some of the kids go crazy with anticipation.
As soon as all the kids saw the candy, their questions and comments started to fly.
"How many pieces does everybody get?"
"I hope it's not black licorice, because that tastes like the diarrhea medicine."
"I will need an extra piece for my brother, 'cause he cries when I get candy and he doesn't."
Ralph, who was sitting next to me, raised his hand and then lowered it, forgetting what he was going to say.
Brother Winston sat there staring at us until everybody had his or her say. Then he leaned back in his chair and said, "Listen up, I'm only going to say this once."
There was something in his voice. It wasn't threatening--in fact it was a bit raspy--but it had a commanding tone. You had to pay attention.
"We're going to have a discussion on--" He paused, looking at his manual, and then continued. "We're going to have a discussion on baptism. I'm going to lead the discussion, and you're going to participate in an orderly fashion."
Ralph raised his hand again but Brother Winston ignored it.
"If the discussion gets out of hand, I'm going to stop. I'll be bored, and so I will probably start eating this bag of licorice. If--" He paused so that we could all understand that there was a condition coming up. "If there is enough licorice at the end of the lesson for everybody to have a piece, then I will share. If there isn't, then you will get nothing. Am I understood?"
We all nodded our heads. And then everybody started talking at once.
"But what flavor is the licorice? If it's black, I don't want any anyway..."
"How fast can you eat licorice? Will you be eating it really quick or just sucking it?"
"How many have you got in there to begin with?"
"My dad can eat a whole watermelon. And he spits the seeds at our cat."
Brother Winston casually sat back, pulled out a plump piece of red licorice, and started to eat.
Within four seconds it was dead silent in the room. After a moment, Brother Winston put the licorice down and began the lesson.
He'd been our teacher ever since.
These books really are a must read! They are hilarious, but they also have a good message in them.
Dad opened the side door of the van and then began to give each one of us our assignments.
"I'll go inside," he said. "Simon, you stand here by the door and shoo them toward the van. Peter, Matthew, you stand here and here and make sure they stay in single file between the two of you. John, you stand here by the van and lift them up if there are any that can't jump that high."
His plan seemed rational and logical. I pictured Dad shooing the chickens out one by one. They would head straight out of the pen in single fine, and Simon would point them toward the van. The chickens would march between Peter and myself, and then either jump in the van or wait to be helped by John. Perfect.
The part that follows is where I just can't stop laughing. I guess I can visualize it so well because Josh's family has chickens and I can just picture this plan in action.
The 2nd book is Bullies in the Headlights, by Matthew Buckley, and it is just as funny.
We were a pretty special class because we had nine kids, seven of us boys. We were so special that for a while, before Brother Winston came, it seemed that everybody wanted to be our teacher. They took turns coming to our class, and it seemed like we had a new teacher every two weeks. I guess everybody wanted a turn to teach us. Or maybe they were auditioning teachers to see who was the best.
Then one day, in walked Brother Winston. He had an open bag of licorice in one hand. We had been bribed with candy before, and it often made some of the kids go crazy with anticipation.
As soon as all the kids saw the candy, their questions and comments started to fly.
"How many pieces does everybody get?"
"I hope it's not black licorice, because that tastes like the diarrhea medicine."
"I will need an extra piece for my brother, 'cause he cries when I get candy and he doesn't."
Ralph, who was sitting next to me, raised his hand and then lowered it, forgetting what he was going to say.
Brother Winston sat there staring at us until everybody had his or her say. Then he leaned back in his chair and said, "Listen up, I'm only going to say this once."
There was something in his voice. It wasn't threatening--in fact it was a bit raspy--but it had a commanding tone. You had to pay attention.
"We're going to have a discussion on--" He paused, looking at his manual, and then continued. "We're going to have a discussion on baptism. I'm going to lead the discussion, and you're going to participate in an orderly fashion."
Ralph raised his hand again but Brother Winston ignored it.
"If the discussion gets out of hand, I'm going to stop. I'll be bored, and so I will probably start eating this bag of licorice. If--" He paused so that we could all understand that there was a condition coming up. "If there is enough licorice at the end of the lesson for everybody to have a piece, then I will share. If there isn't, then you will get nothing. Am I understood?"
We all nodded our heads. And then everybody started talking at once.
"But what flavor is the licorice? If it's black, I don't want any anyway..."
"How fast can you eat licorice? Will you be eating it really quick or just sucking it?"
"How many have you got in there to begin with?"
"My dad can eat a whole watermelon. And he spits the seeds at our cat."
Brother Winston casually sat back, pulled out a plump piece of red licorice, and started to eat.
Within four seconds it was dead silent in the room. After a moment, Brother Winston put the licorice down and began the lesson.
He'd been our teacher ever since.
These books really are a must read! They are hilarious, but they also have a good message in them.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Gratitude Day 24
I actually kind of enjoy housework. I like doing dishes, I like vacuuming, and I like doing laundry. But I don't like doing housework when Josh is home. I just want to spend all my time with him. He is willing to help around the house, but I won't let him do much because I think I do it better. Needless to say, my house doesn't get cleaned very well unless Josh isn't home. Today he went with his uncle and grandpa and went for a drive to look for wildlife. He left at 4:00 this morning and he just called to say that he should be home around 6:00 tonight. Tomorrow we are having my family over for a late Thankgiving dinner. All of this relates to my GRATITUDES today. I am GRATEFUL for all the housework I got done while Josh was gone (I finally took down the Halloween decor in my bathroom!) and I am GRATEFUL for the cooking I was able to do today in preperation for tomorrow's feast. Josh will be cooking the turkey. I will be cooking everything else.
Our Infertility History
I feel like this posting should come with a warning attached. These are my most intimate thoughts and should not be taken lightly. Some things I want to say may upset some of those who read this. I am sorry if it does, but I can no longer hide these emotions and thoughts. Maybe it will give you more insight into why I have been the way I have been the last few years. I have read other posts like this and I want to scream "that's me they are talking about!" I've decided that maybe it is a part of the healing process that I continue to go through and maybe by putting these thoughts down they will help me heal more. Oh, and it will be quite a long post. I only want to have to do this once so I am trying to get it all out.
Looking back at how far we have come and how long it has taken has made me stop and realize just how long we have been waiting for a family now. I've seen several people that have posted their infertility journey. I have started to a few times, but it seems too heart bearing and I usually end up crying. So despite the feelings I may upset someone and the chance that I will be crying soon, here is our infertility journey and a few things that infertility has taught me.
*Start birth control when we married. Our parents thought we were "too young" to have kids. We just liked being married.
*After about 10 months I went off the birth control. It made me terrible sick. I decided pregnancy couldn't be any worse. We decided that if it happened great, if not, great.
*In 2005 we decided that we were ready to have kids. We thought all we needed was a lot of "lovin'" and prayer and our baby would come.
*Our 6th anniversary, we spent at the doctor's office getting Josh tested. Don't worry I soothed him over by taking him to Cabala’s.
*Before the results came back we knew that we needed to adopt. I think Josh knew before the test and just didn't dare say anything.
*February 2007 - we talked to our bishop about adopting through LDSFS. He said he would get a hold of the caseworker and get him in touch with us.
*May 2007 - we finally realized that you have to contact the caseworker yourself. All they need from your bishop is a letter of reference.
*The paperwork one has to fill out for adoption is overwhelming. They want to know everything about you and your family. And you have to do everything twice because they want to hear it from each spouse.
*Summer 2007 - We attended our first birthmother panel. It was AMAZING! Those girls are AMAZING! Adoption is such a wonderful thing. We also attended our first National Adoption Conference. That too was AMAZING!
*October 2007 – I set up my own “deadline.” If we can have a baby by the time the missionaries in our family come home that would be great.
*December 2007 - We had to hurry and buy a Christmas tree and decorate the house because our caseworker wanted to do our home study and we didn't want to look like a bunch of grinches. I was having a hard time getting into the holiday mood that year. It seems to get worse each year...
*December 2007/January 2008 - we found out that even when our caseworker approves our profile, headquarters in SLC still has to approve it too. That guy kept taking days off. It seemed to take forever before we finally received the letter that said we were "paper pregnant."
*August 2008 - I sunk down into another dark hole. Infertility can come out of nowhere and take you off you feet. I couldn't stop crying for 2 days. Josh suggested I get help. I agreed and joined the 2ofus4now.org support group. They have been so wonderful and uplifting.
*October 2008 - Realize that my "deadline" is halfway over! Called our caseworker; no one has looked at us yet. But it was the incentive I needed to finish our website.
*November 2008 - our 1st adoption profile is now online.
Since then it seems like all we have done is wait. Each time our caseworker calls my heart stops beating. Could this be the call?!?! No such luck. It's time to update this paperwork, it's time to do your webpage, it's time for.... But it's never THE CALL that we are hoping for.
------------------
In no particular order here are some things that I have learned from Infertility:
*Sometimes prayer ISN'T enough. Sometimes you need to figure things out on your own.
*Patience is a virtue...and it's one that I've had to work really hard on.
*Even though cats think they are humans, they don't want to be treated like children.
*Sometimes you can do everything the "right" way, but that doesn't guarantee you the things you expected.
*It's hard to shop for baby showers.
*Some people are nice and let you hold their babies. Others are mean and think since you have no children you don't know how to handle one.
*Saying that you want to baby-sit doesn't mean that people will actually let you baby-sit for them. Probably has something to do with the above thought...
*When people treat you like you don't know what you are doing with a baby, it is probably best to ignore them.
*People will say innocent things...or at least that is probably how they meant it.
*People will say mean things...just ignore them.
*It's okay to cry.
*God will take the burden from you, as soon as you will give it to Him. He never gives it back unless you take it back yourself. And then He waits for you to give it back to Him, again.
*Being the only one married in both your families for 6 years doesn't mean you will be the 1st ones to parenthood.
*Being an aunt does not come naturally to everyone.
*Anyone can have a baby. Only special people get to adopt.
*Adopting is a lot more work than just having a baby.
*It's okay to get angry, but you shouldn't do it around friends & family.
*A good friend that will just listen can be the best thing in the world.
*People will try to make you feel better by only pointing out the "hard" parts of parenting and try to tell you that you are better off the way you are. It's hard to ignore them when they keep doing it.
*Infertility is something that requires going through the grieving process. It's a hard process to go through.
*Infertility really is the death of your children. You just don't have a place to go mourn over their loss.
*Being angry & mean will cost you relationships with family & friends. It's hard to build back those relationships to what they used to be.
*Not everyone will get excited when you announce you are going to adopt.
*My grandpa is the best. He told me to remember that ALL of his grandkids/great grandkids look like him and he knows our children will too.
*Sometimes the littlest moment can cause a setback on your healing. They come out of nowhere.
*You can think that you are okay with your infertility, but deep down I don't think one ever comes to complete terms with it.
*Everyone has trials and they are hard. Find others with the same trials and help each other through it.
*It's easier to mourn with those that mourn the same thing you are.
*On bad days you really should lock yourself up and not be around others or you will end up having your feelings hurt and hurting theirs as well.
*Not everyone loves Mother’s Day or any holiday for that matter.
*People will avoid talking about pregnancy around you. Others will talk with you about it like you should know everything they are talking about. It’s actually easier to be around those people who don’t ignore you. You just have to nod your head a lot.
*Arms can literally ache to hold a baby.
Looking back at how far we have come and how long it has taken has made me stop and realize just how long we have been waiting for a family now. I've seen several people that have posted their infertility journey. I have started to a few times, but it seems too heart bearing and I usually end up crying. So despite the feelings I may upset someone and the chance that I will be crying soon, here is our infertility journey and a few things that infertility has taught me.
*Start birth control when we married. Our parents thought we were "too young" to have kids. We just liked being married.
*After about 10 months I went off the birth control. It made me terrible sick. I decided pregnancy couldn't be any worse. We decided that if it happened great, if not, great.
*In 2005 we decided that we were ready to have kids. We thought all we needed was a lot of "lovin'" and prayer and our baby would come.
*Our 6th anniversary, we spent at the doctor's office getting Josh tested. Don't worry I soothed him over by taking him to Cabala’s.
*Before the results came back we knew that we needed to adopt. I think Josh knew before the test and just didn't dare say anything.
*February 2007 - we talked to our bishop about adopting through LDSFS. He said he would get a hold of the caseworker and get him in touch with us.
*May 2007 - we finally realized that you have to contact the caseworker yourself. All they need from your bishop is a letter of reference.
*The paperwork one has to fill out for adoption is overwhelming. They want to know everything about you and your family. And you have to do everything twice because they want to hear it from each spouse.
*Summer 2007 - We attended our first birthmother panel. It was AMAZING! Those girls are AMAZING! Adoption is such a wonderful thing. We also attended our first National Adoption Conference. That too was AMAZING!
*October 2007 – I set up my own “deadline.” If we can have a baby by the time the missionaries in our family come home that would be great.
*December 2007 - We had to hurry and buy a Christmas tree and decorate the house because our caseworker wanted to do our home study and we didn't want to look like a bunch of grinches. I was having a hard time getting into the holiday mood that year. It seems to get worse each year...
*December 2007/January 2008 - we found out that even when our caseworker approves our profile, headquarters in SLC still has to approve it too. That guy kept taking days off. It seemed to take forever before we finally received the letter that said we were "paper pregnant."
*August 2008 - I sunk down into another dark hole. Infertility can come out of nowhere and take you off you feet. I couldn't stop crying for 2 days. Josh suggested I get help. I agreed and joined the 2ofus4now.org support group. They have been so wonderful and uplifting.
*October 2008 - Realize that my "deadline" is halfway over! Called our caseworker; no one has looked at us yet. But it was the incentive I needed to finish our website.
*November 2008 - our 1st adoption profile is now online.
Since then it seems like all we have done is wait. Each time our caseworker calls my heart stops beating. Could this be the call?!?! No such luck. It's time to update this paperwork, it's time to do your webpage, it's time for.... But it's never THE CALL that we are hoping for.
------------------
In no particular order here are some things that I have learned from Infertility:
*Sometimes prayer ISN'T enough. Sometimes you need to figure things out on your own.
*Patience is a virtue...and it's one that I've had to work really hard on.
*Even though cats think they are humans, they don't want to be treated like children.
*Sometimes you can do everything the "right" way, but that doesn't guarantee you the things you expected.
*It's hard to shop for baby showers.
*Some people are nice and let you hold their babies. Others are mean and think since you have no children you don't know how to handle one.
*Saying that you want to baby-sit doesn't mean that people will actually let you baby-sit for them. Probably has something to do with the above thought...
*When people treat you like you don't know what you are doing with a baby, it is probably best to ignore them.
*People will say innocent things...or at least that is probably how they meant it.
*People will say mean things...just ignore them.
*It's okay to cry.
*God will take the burden from you, as soon as you will give it to Him. He never gives it back unless you take it back yourself. And then He waits for you to give it back to Him, again.
*Being the only one married in both your families for 6 years doesn't mean you will be the 1st ones to parenthood.
*Being an aunt does not come naturally to everyone.
*Anyone can have a baby. Only special people get to adopt.
*Adopting is a lot more work than just having a baby.
*It's okay to get angry, but you shouldn't do it around friends & family.
*A good friend that will just listen can be the best thing in the world.
*People will try to make you feel better by only pointing out the "hard" parts of parenting and try to tell you that you are better off the way you are. It's hard to ignore them when they keep doing it.
*Infertility is something that requires going through the grieving process. It's a hard process to go through.
*Infertility really is the death of your children. You just don't have a place to go mourn over their loss.
*Being angry & mean will cost you relationships with family & friends. It's hard to build back those relationships to what they used to be.
*Not everyone will get excited when you announce you are going to adopt.
*My grandpa is the best. He told me to remember that ALL of his grandkids/great grandkids look like him and he knows our children will too.
*Sometimes the littlest moment can cause a setback on your healing. They come out of nowhere.
*You can think that you are okay with your infertility, but deep down I don't think one ever comes to complete terms with it.
*Everyone has trials and they are hard. Find others with the same trials and help each other through it.
*It's easier to mourn with those that mourn the same thing you are.
*On bad days you really should lock yourself up and not be around others or you will end up having your feelings hurt and hurting theirs as well.
*Not everyone loves Mother’s Day or any holiday for that matter.
*People will avoid talking about pregnancy around you. Others will talk with you about it like you should know everything they are talking about. It’s actually easier to be around those people who don’t ignore you. You just have to nod your head a lot.
*Arms can literally ache to hold a baby.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Gratitude Day 23
I love peaceful days and I am GRATEFUL that today was one of those days and that I got to spend it with such a wonderful person. This morning Josh & I took a ride up the mountain. It was so calm and peaceful. We also spent some time working on our adoption profiles. But other than that it has just been a trully restful, peaceful, just be lazy (we learned that from our cats) day. To celebrate we are going out to dinner and to see Twilight again.
I am also GRATEFUL the Zipper's leg is finally getting better. Last week we noticed that the sore was better, but there was still infection. Needless to say we made him very, very mad trying to get the infection out. But the local vet was great and gave us some medicine and his leg is almost healed up. There hasn't been any more infection since day two of the medicine and the hair around the sore is growing back.
I am also GRATEFUL the Zipper's leg is finally getting better. Last week we noticed that the sore was better, but there was still infection. Needless to say we made him very, very mad trying to get the infection out. But the local vet was great and gave us some medicine and his leg is almost healed up. There hasn't been any more infection since day two of the medicine and the hair around the sore is growing back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
+-+Copy.JPG)
