Wednesday, March 23, 2011

5. Say something to your 15-year-old self

This is a tough one because I think the title implies I should tell myself something to keep me out of trouble in the future, or something like that. At 15, I was in high school and I hated just about every second of it until my Junior year so maybe I could just tell myself to get out of there as quick as I can because life gets better after that.

Oh wait, I did do that. My junior year was my LAST year in the horrible place. :)

A while back one of my besties had to give the lesson in YW's and she had to choose the subject herself. In a moment of bitterness, I told her to tell the girls how one out of eight of them wouldn't become a mother in their life. Mean? Yes? Uncalled for? Probably. But I just feel cheated that I didn't know about that until I was in the middle of it. You spend your young life dreaming about becoming a mother, and it was devastating when I learned we may never become parents. Had I known at a younger age, I really don't know what I would have done differently, but still I like to think that knowing it was a possibility might have helped the blow not be so hard when it did come. And also, maybe if I had know some of the causes, like PCOS, I could have gotten a better handle on it when I was younger. I thought no one could predict their next period, I thought they just came when they felt like it, be it 20 days apart or 48 days apart. I thought they were supposed to be so painful you would wish for death.

Well, it looks like we have found one of my many soapboxes....

So here is the letter I would write to my 15 year old self.

You may be miserable right now, but don't worry. In about 18 months you are going to meet your future husband, so just hang on a little bit longer. Also, go ahead and marry him the day you turn 18. You love being married. ;)

You have friends that are a good influence, but you need a more social life. Don't worry, you will find that in about a year. When you do, your friends become your life line and probably end up keeping you in line. Besides, through them you will meet Mr. Wonderful.

You will question whether you want to do school actives or just work. Go ahead and work, you like having the money. And because you work you are able to buy your dream truck during your Junior Year. (It was a Dodge Dakota :) )

Do your wedding your way. Later in life you will joke that you should have just gone to Vegas.

Building your family is going to be HARD. You should learn about infertility. It will be a struggle you share equally with your husband, so you will somehow survive. But while you are going through this struggle, don't stop living life just because you are waiting for something to happen. Also, be nice to pregnant people.

Also, be better friends with your cousins because their wives will end up being your very best friends. Try to find them sooner so they can help you through your struggles.

Love me


Jessica said...

I love it and I love you!

Desi said...

We share soap boxes... :) I think we spend so much time telling kids to "be careful" or not to get too close so they won't become parents that when some of us grow up and can't be parents, it's a shock. I remember when I first realized that nothing I could do could get me pregnant - I remembered all those warning lessons in YW and thought to myself (breifly) that I didn't need to play it safe and I could have done what other kids around me were doing and mess around with boys, because it wouldn't have done anything at all. Well, then the next thought was that my chastity was still important... haha! But seriously, I wish they would tell girls that thier cycles don't have to be so crazy. I knew one girl who planned on not going to girls camp because she would be on her period. She knew 6 months beforehand! I was "lucky" to find out right before mine started and it could be 14 days or 42 days in between. Who knows....

Glad it all worked out and you found Josh! Thanks for sharing part of your life! It's great to know ya!