15. Post a bit of your last AIM conversation

I think this is a really weird thing to blog about. :p But for some reason, when I chopped up the list, I left it in, so I guess I'll do it. I do a LOT of chatting with on bestie online. But she just got a new foster care placement, so we haven't been able to chat much lately. If she catches me online today, she'll probably remind me I promised to bring her a few things for this placement. (Its in my car! I'll try to get it to your mom today. Or Saturday. Or at least soon!)

Then I also do a lot of texting with my other two besties. Which is kind of weird, because I didn't join the texting world until about 9 months ago. So here is a bit of the last texting sequence I had with one of them yesterday.

Me: "I can't remember, do you have the Gettysburg quarter?"

Her: "I'm pretty sure I do. I still need Mount Hood for 2010 though."

Me: "I have my Mount Hood but its the only one I've ever seen. I'll keep watching for one for you."

And yes, both her and I are pretty good and not becoming lazy texters. We spell things out and use capitalization. Not that I can claim I always use proper grammar, but I try. I think texting is a damper on the learning of the youth.

For example, one day while chatting with a particular young man (aka, my youngest brother) he said "dugh". Dugh? I thought about it for a minute thinking it was a texting thing. I know LOL and BRB and a few others, but I had never heard dugh before. So I asked him. I can't remember how the conversation went after that, but in the end, he had meant to say "duh". Which is kind of weird, because texters usually shorten words.

But my point is, that texting has made people lazy. These texters are starting to grow up and turn in resumes. Oh my. There are no words. Mainly because you're not sure what half of their words are. 

And that is why I didn't start texting until recently. And I only did because I wanted to be able to get a hold of people when they weren't online.  On a side note I just did spell check, texting is highlighted and blogger doesn't know how to spell it. :p And yes, dugh is highlighted too.

14. Something that really bugs you / bust an infertility myth

I've been thinking about what bugs me for a few days, and I haven't come up with much. But then I decided to take the RESOLVE challenge to blog about an infertility myth and I figured out what does bug me. So here is my blog post I did on my infertility blog for the RESOLVE challenge. If you've already read this on my infertility blog, keep reading, I added one more thing that bugs me at the end of this post.

It is National Infertility Week and RESOLVE has challenged bloggers to blog about an infertility myth. The goal behind this challenge is to help bring infertility bloggers together and to also help others learn about infertility.

I have faced many of those myths head on over the years.

"Just relax."

"You're still young."

"Just adopt."

"Just try again."

Each of those statements (along with countless others) don't actually help someone with infertility. You can't just relax and suddenly your pregnant. You can't just adopt, its not like going to the store.

But right now the myth I struggle with the most is when people imply that we are not a family if we don't have kids.

Ten years ago, on February 9, 2001, my husband and I were married for time & eternity in the Jordan River Temple. When we went there that morning, we were just two people with no lasting connection. But after that, we were husband and wife. We were officially a family. A family starts the second you are declared man and wife. It doesn't wait to start until you are pregnant. It doesn't wait and start when you hear the first heartbeat. It doesn't wait and start when your first child is born. Josh and I have been a family for 10 years. Not having children doesn't make us less of a family. We are just as much a family as anyone else, whether they have one child or twelve.

Which leads to another myth, our lives aren't complete and happy, unless we become parents.

We've always been happy, even during our struggles. But this last year has been one of the best years of our marriage. Our lives are complete. Our lives do have meaning. We aren't empty shells because we don't have children. We still enjoy things. We still have a life.

My new favorite scripture is 2 Nephi 2:25. "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."

It doesn't say, men have children so they can have joy. Just simply, "men are they they might have joy."

Its okay if we choose to be happy while living a childfree life. That doesn't make us selfish. We are not forced to sit home in tears that we aren't parents. We are allowed to find new meaning in life. To experience other things.

I don't like it when people imply I have "yet" to start my family. Josh is my family. I also don't appreciate when people act like we are missing out on the world. We have a very rich and full life. I have nothing to complain about. Josh makes me happy. He completes me. If he is the only member of my family, that is okay. I find joy in that.

To learn more about RESOLVE visit HERE.

To learn more about National Inferility Awareness Week visit HERE.

I thought of another thing that bugs me, adoption as portrayed on TV. Glee, Season 1, is available on instant Netflix. It didn't take long for both Josh and I to get hooked. When Quinn decided to make an adoption plan, I was excited. "Yay, TV is going to show adoption." But then it happened and I was so mad. She goes through struggles during her pregnancy with family and friends. But in the end, they all seem to make up just as she goes into labor. (Which I was happy to see her have support in the end.) They show her having the baby. Then they show her and the father watching the baby through the nursery window. Then they show Quinn, back at school like nothing had happened! I wanted to scream at the TV, "She just placed her baby! She just lost a piece of her heart! How can you show her going on like nothing happened?" I know its just a show, but my heart was breaking for her.

Easter 2011

Last year was the first year we really got into Easter. We had so much fun exchanging baskets, that we decided to make it a permanent tradition.

I got Josh the newest Narnia movie, an itrip, an itunes card and a basketful of candy, including cotton candy and a large chocolate bunny.

Josh got me the Wii Fit Plus, an itunes card and some jello. I also helped him get me a small package of my favorite Easter candy.

I should have took a picture of the basket his mom gave us, it was so cute. It was full of various candies, but my favorite part were these cute carrots that were filled with cinnamon bunnies. I'm going to hang on to the carrots, and maybe fill them with grass or something and use them as decorations next year.

Easter was fun. We went to his parents for dinner. After dinner, we took the boys outside to find Easter eggs. I'm grateful they did that so we could watch. It meant a lot to me. I was trying to help Tyler find eggs, but he seemed more interested in chasing the cats. Those boys are just too cute.

13. Last time you had to apologize to someone

Does it make me horrid, that I don't know? Maybe I'm not good at apologies. I'm sure I owe some to people, but I don't ever act on it.

I'm always apologizing to Josh when I'm cranky. Or I don't get housework done. Or I'm cranky. I do apologize to him quite often. But I love him and I don't want him to stop loving me, so I probably over apologize.

I guess this is where I could insert the blanket apology. Dear everyone I know, I'm sorry I hurt or offending you. I apologize. Please forgive me.

But that seems wrong. How can I apologize if I don't know what I'm apologizing for?

12. Last time you cried

I started this post on Friday. I should have finished it.

Its quite refreshing to say, I can't remember. In the thick of infertility, I would have said something like "last night", "yesterday", or "this weekend". But right now I am in a healthy place where I don't let every little thing send me into a pool of tears.


I recently cried when a friend lost a baby. I recently cried when a friend saw yet another negative pregnancy test. Because I have cried so much over my own struggle, I can now cry with those who face the same kind of situations.


I'm sure I'll end up crying again someday, for my own situation, but I'm glad that for now, I've been able to get my life back on track and move on.

If I had published it then, it would have ended here. I was proud of myself and how far I have come so that I'm not constantly in tears.

But then I decided to sit on it for a few days and see if I wanted to add anything.

And then yesterday, was one of THOSE days. I lost it. I had to sneak out of Relief Society and hide in the bathroom because I couldn't hold it together anymore. Then I cried on the way home.

Then I learned that my mind is too creative, and I had no reason to cry, but that didn't stop me. By then I was so worked up that I burst into tears the throughout rest of the day. It all ended last night when I let it all out.

It was so stupid, because I thought I was crying over something I had missed. About an hour later, I learned it wasn't true, but by then I had myself so worked up, that I couldn't let it go until I had a full out melt down about it. But I wouldn't let myself do that, because I had no valid reason to be upset. It was like crying over spilled milk, only there was no spilled milk.

Finally that evening, I just let it come. The entire time I was crying, I told myself how I was wrong. How it never really happened, so I really had no reason to cry over it.

But I had to cry because it reminded me of how our infertility will never go away. I will always have small crisis' like this one. I will always be the odd woman out because I can't have children.

Here's to hoping that doesn't happen again for a very long time. Easter has not gone well for me the last few years, I think next year I will just skip it.

11. Something you crave

Right now? Just about everything. I finally started on my New Years Resolution to eat healthy and get in better shape. For me, that means, no Dr. Pepper, hardly any chocolate, very limited sugar, no deep fried foods, etc. Its been hard to adjust my eating, but I think I'm finally adjusting. Except I would LOVE a bag of Doritos right now. A BIG bag. ALL to myself.

To get my mind off of food, something I really want is a new entertainment center. As soon as Josh goes back to work full time, I hope to get one. I can't wait.

A saddle.....with no horse

I am now the proud owner of a saddle.

(Have I ever mentioned how spoiled I am?)

Now I just need a horse to put it on.

10. Something you’re thankful for

I'm grateful for my husband, but I talk about that all the time. ;) I'm grateful for the way he loves me, the way he takes care of me, the way he comforts me. My life would be nothing without him.

I'm always grateful for all of those things, but as we celebrate the one year anniversary of his job, I'm extremely grateful for that. With the economy thet way it is, he previous job had slowed to about nothing. He'd be lucky to work a few days a month. Luckily, I have a good job, so we were able to survive, but just barely.
Josh kind of stumbled onto this job opening. One day we came home and there was a message on our machine. It was his grandpa, he'd heard about a job that he thought Josh would be interested in. But that got pushed to the back burner because we were scared of change.

A few days later, was a bad day at work. Josh was pretty miserable with his job, which made me miserable, which made us miserable. Not a good combination. He came home and told me he was ready to quit. So I got online and pulled up job search. The first job we looked at was the same one his grandpa had called about earlier that week.

And the rest is history. We emailed a resume THAT night. They called the next day to set up an interview. The interview went well the following night. Shortly after the interview, we were shopping in Walmart, Josh ran into them and they told him he was hired. He started 2 days later.

In the same line of thinking, I'm also grateful for my job. I'll have been with them 5 years this coming May. Which translates to, its been almost 5 years since I QUIT my last job. There are so many reasons I'm glad I still don't work there. The company I work for now is a thousand times better, for so many reasons. Three day weekends, insurance, retirement plans, I actually GET a lunch break, etc.

Life is great when we both have jobs that we love. Recently I told Josh that I used to have a small list of wants, but no money to buy them. Now I have a long list of wants and just need to pace myself.

Coloring Easter Eggs

Last weekend we went to Jessica & Andrew's house and colored eggs with them and Kim & Brandon. I haven't colored eggs in YEARS (before I was married). I forgot how much fun it is.

Between all of us we had several different kits that included:

Neon Colors

Tye Dye

Camo

Glitter

and Golden

 The tye dye kit was harder to work with and only the very first egg turned out well. We tried a few after that, but they weren't as good, so Josh and I didn't tye dye any eggs.

 The upper pink egg was from the golden egg kit, you had to paint them. The bright pink egg on the bottom, was from the neon kit, I put it in the cup and then forgot about it.

 The camo eggs were fun. I did the purple and pink one and Josh did the green one.

For dinner, Jessica cooked lasagna that was super yummy. After we finished our eggs, we of course played Wii. ;)

9. Your favorite thing(s) right now

Oh my, where do I start?

One of my favorites things is hanging out with my best friends (the EEC's as Josh calls us). I love crafting with them, shopping with them, discussing books with them, playing Wii with them. I love everything about them.

Another favorite (or probably more appropriately, my favorite addiction) is buying books. I figure in the last 3 - 4 weeks, I have bought at least 20 books. Nope, make that at least 21. I need to learn to control myself there, but at least I can say almost half of them I got for a steal at the DI.

Of course, that means that reading is one of my favorite things to do. ;)

Crafting is always at the top of my list. I started the year out planning to make cards, but then I found some pictures and decided to scrapbook instead. Right now I'm working on the Hanke family reunion from 2009. Then I have some other pictures I want to scrapbook, like when I helped Preston catch his first fish. I love taking the pictures and turning them into something pretty, but even more, I love how happy I am when I look at the pictures.

One thing I have discovered lately is my Ninja Master Prep. Its a blender, but even better! I got it for Christmas, but didn't really start using it until last month. Now I feel like I missed out because I could have been using it sooner. For the most part I make breakfast smoothies (which is another favorite thing).

Cuddling with Buddy is a favorite, but I wish it wasn't, at least not this way. Ally disappeared over a week ago, and both he and I are taking it a little hard. :( We're not sure what happened. I threw the cats outside one morning, and when I let them in that night, Ally wasn't with them. The only plus side to this, is that NOW Buddy like attention. He will let me hold him and he even purrs for me.

Last week I started doing one of my favorite things again, my nails. I love having french tips. LOVE it! A few years ago, when I got promoted to full time, I celebrated by calling my favorite nail girl and scheduling an appointment. Then a short time later, the hubs decided to go back to school and stopped doing my nails to cut down on our budget. With his job now, I've decided I can afford this luxury again.

Of course my favorite thing is Josh. He is an amazing man and a caring husband. I'm so blessed to have him in my life.

What are some of your favorite things?

April's City Trip

With the weather getting warmer, we've been talking about our city trips again. Last year it seems we went every 4 to 6 weeks and we're hoping we can do that again this year.

Earlier last week, one of the gems in my ring fell out (I was pretty upset), so I started pushing to go this weekend so I could drop it off for repairs. Maybe when its finished in a few weeks we can go again. ;)

Kim wasn't able to go with us, so it was just Jessica and I this time. Despite the nasty weather (snow in April, enough is enough already!), we had a great time. 

Just before I left the house, I decided to get online for a minute and browse through facebook. Halfway through, I learned that Richard Paul Evans was having a book signing in South Jordan that afternoon. I hurried and called Jessica. She hadn't left yet, so she was able to grab some of her books so we could meet him and have them signed. We were able to get there a little early so the line wasn't bad. He signed two books for her and then gave her a book plate for his newest book. At that point, I didn't own any of his books yet, so I didn't have any signed. But it was still fun to meet him. I've been hooked on his books since Jessica picked one for book club. 

On our last few trips, we haven't been able to make it to the Quilted Bear, so that was a priority yesterday. I think we spend half of day there. I found a few things that I just had to have. 

The DI was the highlight of my day. Usually Kim and Jessica find awesome stuff and I'll maybe buy a thing or two. But this time I bought a basket full of stuff. We have learned to take our time in the book section. There isn't much organization to it, so you just have to slowly scan through the books. We went through the book section twice because we found so much. I have enjoyed some of the authors from book club so much, that I want to buy their books. Yesterday I found 2 books by Dorothy Keddington and 4 books by Richard Paul Evans. (If only I had found those before the book signing!) Actually, we found one more book by him, but it was in pretty sad condition so I decided to not get that one. 

I came home with 9 books total!

"The Last Promise" by Richard Paul Evans 

(That is one of my favorites and the one I would have gotten signed if I had it then)

"The Letter" by Richard Paul Evans

"The Locket" by Richard Paul Evans

"The Christmas Box Miracle" by Richard Paul Evans

"Shadow Song" by Dorothy Keddington

"The Mermaid's Purse" by Dorothy Keddington

"The Three Gifts of Christmas" by Anita Stansfield

"A World Away" by Anna Jones

(I already own that book, but I really like it so I got it as a gift for a friend.)

"Shadows at Dawn" by Karl Jacoby

(It looks like a western, so I got it for Josh)

I also got a cute soup bowl, a sunflower for my kitchen, a strawberry place mat for Josh's grandma, and two baskets. I can't wait to go to the DI again. :)

Another fun stop was Sur La Table. Earlier this week I got one of their emails and it had products for grilling. I saw these grill grids and feel in love. I can't wait to try them out. 

Deseret Book was our last stop of the night. Michelle Paige Holmes just came out with a new book and I just had to have it. While I was there, I bought three other books. Rebound was on sale for $2.99!

I love our city trips and can't wait to go again. 

Book Club - "Mrs. Mike" by Benedict & Nancy Freedman

This month it was Kim's turn to host book club. She choose "Mrs. Mike" by Benedict & Nancy Freedman. I must admit, I had a harder time with this book. It was good, but it just never grabbed my interest and sucked me in.

But after we started discussing the book, I found myself saying
"Oh, I really did enjoy that part."
"Oh, I'm sure glad that part happened."
"Oh, I was so scared for her during that part."
"Oh, I really enjoy when this happened."

By the end of the night, I realized that I did enjoy the book. I just didn't give it a fair chance at first.

I'm already half way through next months book. Right now, we only have one copy to pass around so I am trying to get it read this weekend so I can pass it on. Its really good and I'm excited for next months book club so we can discuss it.

Cowboy Kits

Last August, the Idea Closet came out with a kit that said Welcome on it. I'm real funny about the word "welcome". I don't understand why people feel like they need to have it as part of the decor in their home. If I let you in my front door, that means you are welcomed. If I meet you on the porch, well, most likely that means my house is a mess and I don't want you to see it.

I loved the look of the kit, but I just didn't think it was me. So I showed it to Josh to get his opinion. Mostly, I was hoping he would say get it, so I'd have an excuse to buy another kit that I really probably don't need. But I love doing them so I keep buying them.

When I showed it to him he said, "We need more cowboy stuff in this house." I totally agree. But I don't like the "old cowboy" looking stuff. I don't want to dedicate my house to old country stuff. I want cowboy stuff, but I also want it to be hip and chick. Does that make sense?

The Idea Closet doesn't have any cowboy kits, so I started to scheming. These kits are so easy to do, I should be able to do them on my own. I drew out the welcome kit and then tried to figure out how to personalize it into a cowboy style. In my plans, all I kept was the blocks. Any cowboy words I could think of, I either had too many blocks, or not enough. So then I added a second welcome kit to my plans.

 I can't remember which words I came up with first, but I think I ended up two or three extra blocks.

Well, I couldn't have that, so I thought of one more word and added a third welcome kit. I had one extra block, but I thought of a purpose for it too.

When the kits came I got to work. I recut all the paper using my favorite Close to My Heart Paper, Sarsaparilla. Then I used my western Cricut cartridge to cut out new words and also some cute embellishments.

Then I set the kits aside to work on other projects, and kind of forgot about them.

Then last week, I wanted a girls night, but we really didn't have anything to do. I suggested bringing these kits and getting them finished. We ended up doing our Easter cupcakes instead. So on Tuesday night, I went to Jessica's and she helped me get my cowboy kits finished.

 That extra block I had, I used it by making up a cowboy hat to go on it. ;)

I absolutely LOVE how they turned out. And Josh is just tickled to finally how some cowboy decor in the house. :)

More Easter Cupcakes

Tomorrow is our semi annual Hanke Conference Breakfast. I had so much fun decorating Easter cupcakes earlier this week, that I decided to do some more. 

This was one of my favorites. I still need to work on my basket weave, but I love how they look like little baskets. 

I decided to do some more bird nests since they were so easy.

I also did some more chicks. I forgot to buy gummies for their beaks, but I had some orange Starburst candies. 

Some baskets. The thing I would do different on them, is to put the licorice in right before serving. I made these this afternoon, and now my licorice is droopy. I tried sticking a toothpick in one, but I almost crushed the cupcake, so I decided to just let them droop.

These Peeps cupcakes were also a little bit of work. I had a hard time getting the bunnies to stay upright. Maybe if I had chopped the bottom off a little bit so it was more flat instead of round. I did finally put a toothpick in one of them. 

I loved the carrot cupcakes! The carrots are made of green Twizzler and Starburst candies. Then I lightly sprinkled them with cinnamon sugar to look like dirt. 

I ended up with 24 cupcakes. I can't wait to take them to the brunch tomorrow and show them off. 

April's Wii Party

I think we have officially decided to do a Wii party every month. Last night we went to Kim's house and since it was April Fools Day, she had a fun dinner. We almost forgot to take pictures, but at the last minute someone remembered. 

We had meatloaf cupcakes (that were even better then real cupcakes) and ladies fingers bread sticks. 

For dessert, Kim made Sushi Rolls with rice crispy treats, gummy worms and fruit roll-ups. They were so pretty and so yummy. 

We get so caught up in the fun, that I forget to take pictures. We usually start with Guitar Hero because every one is pretty full from dinner. It must be a fun game because we've all bought a different version of it now. When we first started our Wii parties, all we had was one guitar, but now we can get a full band going with 2 guitars, a drummer and a singer. We would love to somehow connect a third guitar, but we can't figure out how to do that. 

After Guitar Hero we usually do Just Dance or Just Dance 2. Those games are such workouts! Then that is followed by Glee Karaoke. Then we usually go back to another version of Guitar Hero. 

The only picture that isn't super blurry from last night. 

Meeting Dorothy Keddington

Earlier this week, Kim learned that Dorothy Keddington would be coming to Vernal to sign books. So tonight we went over to meet her. It was so much fun. 

I've read almost all of her books, but I borrowed them from Kim so I didn't own any yet. But they had a few of her books for purchase, so I was still able to get some signed. Now I just need to work on buying the rest of her books. She also had a printout of the first two chapters of her next book that will be out soon. I can't wait!