Book Club - "The Highwayman of Tanglewood" by Marcia Lynn McClure

This month it was my turn to choose the book for book club. I really struggled with my choice. I wanted to choose my favorite book, but I was worried some of the gals wouldn't like it. But in the end I decided I would be unloyal to myself if I didn't choose MY favorite book by my FAVORITE author, Marcia Lynn McClure. Her books always make me swoon. They are so romantic and yet also very clean. If my house was on fire, her books are something I would try to get out before the house burnt down. 

So I chose "The Highwayman of Tanglewood."

Its so hard to choose a favorite scene in this book. So hard! But here is part of one of my FAVORITE kissing scenes.

 "The emerald fire in his eyes caught blaze as he smiled and she was undone. Closing her eyes as Lochlan Rockrimmon's head descended toward hers, Faris harshly scolded herself--scolded herself until the instant she felt Lochlan's lips press against her own. She gasped as he drew her body against his with great strength and determination.

His kiss lingered upon her lower lip--lingered against her upper lip. She was near to crying out for want of his mouth full pressed to hers.

He whispered then, "a shared kiss is required, Faris--if you wish to be free of me."

Instantly, his mouth captured hers, coaxing her lips to part. Faris melted against him, her resolve to resist in returning his kiss utterly vanquished as passion caught flame and smoldered between them. He was strong--powerful! His kiss was moist, demanding, overpowering in rendering a sense of intoxication to Faris' full body and mind. Faris despised herself--for she reveled in the bliss evoked by Lochlan Rockrimmon's kiss as deeply as she ever reveled in the bliss found in the arms of the Highwayman of Tanglewood!

His rough whiskers assaulted the flesh about her mouth. His strong hands caressed her arms, tightened about her waist, wove fingers through her hair.

"Will you not touch me, Faris? Will you not embrace me?" he asked in a whisper. "Will you not let me feel the warmth of your full self in returning our kiss?"

Faris knew she must break from him, but not before she had held him in return. His words were as a warm rain and she melded to him, letting her arms go around him--her mouth working with his to generate a passionate exchange the like she had shared with just one other.

A deep moan rose from his throat as he pushed her back against the wall. His body pressed hers as he kissed her, his hands fisted and hard-pressed on the wall at either side of her head. His kiss was ambrosial in nature--perfect in its heated application and coaxing response.

Faris pulled away at once, stepping out of his embrace and away from him. What had she done? She had never imagined herself capable of such unfaithfulness.

(pages 235-236)


I also made dinner for book club. Usually when I have guests, I will only serve the tried and proven true meals. But I decided to be brave and try something totally new. It was a big deal because if things don't turn out in the kitchen, I throw a fit. Josh calls them my kitchen fits and he knows to just leave the room and leave me alone. These kitchen fits are also while I'll never make pies again.

For dinner I served The Great White Chili from the Better Than Burgers Website. It was so good! We almost didn't save enough for Josh. (Which would have been mean since he cooked the chili for me.) I served it with chips and Jenga Bread sticks. They were fun to make and I loved how short they were. (Sorry I forgot to take picture of dinner, we were having too much fun.) We almost forgot about dessert, (sorry Randi), but before Kim & Jessica left, one of them remembered it. It was Lemonade Pie, also from Better Than Burgers and it was a huge hit! I made mine with Raspberry Lemonade. YUM! It probably a good thing its stored in the basement freezer or I would have eaten it all by now.

When we first started book club, I promised everyone bookmarks. True to myself, I decided I better have one of every color known to man in two different designs so everyone could get one they liked and not have to fight over some. I finally pooped out after making all of one design in every color. I let them know if they liked the other design better, they could choose a color and I would make it. I had the book marks all crocheted, so all they had to do was thread the ribbon in. I loved every one's bookmarks.

It was a fun night and I can't wait for next months book club. :)

Dear 2009

What can I say to 2009?
January was a bitter sweet month. Our nephew turned 2. He is at such a fun age. Growing so fast and learning even faster. So busy and so much to do. Why don't we have a cousin for you yet?

In February I got sick of the infertility blues and gave my blog a new name and a new theme. Oh, and you almost had us with that scammer.
I started a cooking blog. But most importantly, we celebrated eight wonderful years together.

In March Josh got a puppy. I named her Sage. Pyro had her first cancer removal surgery. I offered to join a craft exchange. (Gosh dang, I need to get those bookmarks in the mail!)

In April Josh took me to see "Phantom." That was fun. Hitting the deer with my car, not so much. Easter in St. George with my grandparents, that was fun too. Getting together with FSA is always fun.

In May we had to give a new rule to Zipper. I was able to meet several online adoption friends in person. Josh felt creative and built a bench. And I took a stand for adoption and wrote a letter to the editor.

June, I love your warm weather! We went craw dad fishing and we discovered Pelican Lake. More good times with our FSA buddies. And I got a new fridge! I wrapped up the month by babysitting the happiest little boy.

In July I reaped the rewards of babysitting that cute little boy, by catching the icky influenza bug from his family. Highlight of the summer was helping Preston catch his first fish! Josh took me hiking in the mountains (sometimes I still call it the death march of '09).

August is always my favorite month because its time for FSA Conference. It was a blast this year because we met so many friends. And what a busy month you were. Blowing bubbles with Preston was the bomb! The family reunion in the mountains was the best. And then we welcomed our newest nephew, Tyler, into the world. (But still no children for us.) I also learned that there is worse things then a dead mouse in bed, try a live bat in the house.

In September, FSA got together again. We took new family pictures at the farm.

October, you didn't get a lot of attention because, let's face it, up until the 20th, you sucked. So much so I couldn't even find the strength to blog about it (and I still haven't). But you had your shiny moment on the 20th when we received our first email. And you did go out with a bang with my Halloween Dinner and Dallon coming home.

In November, I got back into my blogging groove when I took on the National Adoption Month challenge to blog about adoption every day. You reminded me how cruel life can be when you took my Missy away from me. I still haven't forgiven you for that. But you did melt my heart when we met Ally. (Why didn't you warn me about all the trouble she would find?) I had a few fun hours watching my little nephews. (When can I do that again?).

December, how can I ever repay you. I want to scream it from the housetops, "We were picked!" Quite frankly, the rest of the month was a blur because we have had our heads in the clouds.
2010, our future has never looked so bright.

*To read an update on our adoption journey, please read Unchosen.

Tamiflu should be a diet drug

Firstly, because if you need this drug, lets face it: you are too sick to be eating anyway. You cut out tons of calories when you are this sick. And don't worry, if you suddenly think you are well enough to eat, your body will remind you that you aren't and it will do what it needs to reverse your eating efforts.

When you do start to actually feel better after a few days rest, Tamiflu is still there. If you take the pill without food, it will make you think you are sick once again and you will desire no food. Or if you read the label and see that this pill should be taken with food, you will eat as little as possible because Tamiflu makes it all taste the same... like crap. Even chocolate will no longer taste good while Tamiflu is in your system.

But despite that, I am glad to be feeling better. The first half of the week is a blur to me. I may or may not have napped in the doctor's office and followed that with a good, long cry on the phone with hubby (that freaked him out) because I was still tired. That or maybe I cried because I was informed that I had the Type 1 Influenza and should avoid ALL people. A lot of good that did me. I had to hitch a ride to the doctor because my car wouldn't start, and now that person is sick.

I also made sure to have a mattress in the front room so I could sleep in front of the TV when I was sick of sleeping in the bed. And that must be a lot of sleeping, because I never tire of sleeping in my bed, well except after countless hours... I was even to sick to do any of my favorite relaxing activities such as: read, crochet, or even soak in the tub. How sick can a person get?

Oh, and despite his best efforts (like drinking from my cup, trying to kiss me, insisting that he really does get more sleep with me coughing on him than if I were to sleep in another room, and even taking his temperature "just for fun," right after I did) Josh didn't get sick. That is so unfair! Well, maybe not. Just because I suffered doesn't mean he should to. We all know how men get when they don't feel well...

We haven't rescheduled our camping trip yet, but we will soon. After an entire week off of work, I get to return to the work force on Monday and that is when I will beg for more days off so we can take our long awaited trip.

I loved Phantom

The play was AWESOME!We had front row seats, but even the seats in the back didn't look bad. The only down side to the front row was the fog machine. The things puts out a lot of fog! But we were able to see their facial expressions better and that made it worth it. It is a different telling of the story than "The Phantom of the Opera" so if you go to see the play throw out everything you expect. But there is still a scene where the chandelier crashes to the floor; that was wicked cool!
I love the movie, but I also love the play. I think I like the story line of the play a little more, but I enjoy the music of the movie more. For both our tickets it was only $52 bucks and ticket prices are the same no matter where you sit. When we ordered the tickets back in January we looked at three different dates before purchasing, because for that price we wanted the best seats in the house! I would go again in a heartbeat.
I also found a great website: www.nowplayingutah.com.

An ALMOST total disappointment...

There was an adoption conference this week in Provo and Sandy. It wasn't sponsored by our agency, but I decided to go and try to learn some new things since we are thinking about trans racial and international adoption more and more these days.

The one in Provo was supposed to be on trans racial adoption, but I would have titled it "These guys are working on their desertions for their degrees and for some unknown reason they are trying to do studies on trans racial adoption even though they have no valid link to the adoption world with a guest speaker who is probably more anti-adoption than pro-adoption."

I was so excited when I left the house yesterday morning (before daylight I may add). I was a few minutes late, but that's because I went to the wrong building. When I got there this cute little (she was like 5 feet tall!) grandma iwas talking about a 20 year study she did. I loved her. She has several adopted bi-racial children and she loves them. It was so refreshing.

Then we had the other guest speaker. He once lived next to someone in Vermont who adopted a bi-racial child and he decided to do a study on it, but I think someone forgot to tell him we would want to see the positive side. The video was 77 grueling minutes long. I loved the guy, who during the Q&A, asked the film maker why all he showed was the challenges and not the rewards. The film maker just kind of skirted around that question.

Lunch was okay, but I was able to meet some new great people in the adoption world. I think that was the only adoption related thing at the conference; just us crazy people who have adopted or who want to adopt that were in attendance.

The session I was most excited for was a big let down. The schedule said Trans National and we have been thinking more about that since Sunday (more to come on those details) so I went. He showed a few charts about different countries and which seems to be the biggest for adoption right now. Then he asked who there had adopted internationally and if he could interview them for his study. THAT WAS IT! We didn't discuss the different things you need to do, we didn't discuss how much to spend, how long it takes. NONE OF MY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS were talked about.

The next session was a little better, but once again it was a student conducting a study. And really her's wasn't really about adoption, but mixed race families. It was informative and I really enjoyed her speech, but it would have been better at a different conference I think.

The only highlight of the day (besides the new friends I made) was the adoptee panel. IT WAS AMAZING! They had 5 people come in and share their adoption stories. They were beautiful and uplifting. I feel in love with everyone of them. They had great advice and they did admit to some things being hard, but the love they felt for their families was very positive. I wanted to find the film maker and tell him to throw his old video in the garbage and make it using these guys.

Then back to disappointment. The next guy has a passion and that is numbers. He took the 2000 Census and threw some numbers together in confusing ways. I'm still not sure what message I was supposed to get from him. Then another doctoral student spoke and to me he was trying say everything he could to say trans racial adoption probably isn't a good thing. He was African American and I didn't like how he kept saying "my people" and "your people." At this point I want the adoptee panel to come back!

I didn't stay for the last guy. I was too discouraged. I realize that trans racial adoption comes with extra difficulties, but I know it all can't be bad. In the car I looked at the schedule for Wed. & Thurs. and decided my emotional state could not handle more of the same thing so I decided to come home.

I was supposed to take notes for my friends that couldn't go. I am sorry to say that I was not impressed and will not go to this particular conference again. But during the entire day that was a handful of things that I did like or that gave me pause to think:
1- African Americans will probably have problems no matter where they are raised. As a society we really need to get our act together and quit looking at color of skin and rather look at their character that lies within.
2- It probably is best that they are raced by someone of their culture and skin color, but in not, then they just need to be raised by a loving family.
3- Kids don't seem to notice they have a different skin color until they are about four or five years old.
4- Children raised by parents of a different color seem to find the religion of their family and how that is taught more important than the color of their skin. I could probably say that in a more understandable way, but I'm not sure how to word it. Several of the adoptees mentioned it. Their families taught them that God doesn't see in color and that he loves all his children. That was important to them.

If you were at the conference on Tuesday and had a better time, I would love to hear from you! And if you enjoyed it, sorry if my thoughts upset you. We have only recently decided to consider trans racial adoption and I was hoping yesterday could have been a better learning opportunity. I have not let it discourage me away from trans racial adoption.

To make myself feel better and feel like my day hadn't been a complete waste I stopped at Bridal Veil Falls on my way out of Provo. I only had my little camera since I had planned to be gone for several days and didn't want to worry about my big camera. But once again I am amazed that my little camera is a great camera.

Check out this adoption blog

I am a BIG fan of the R House Blog. For starters her boys are just about the cutest EVER (look for their pictures in the left sidebar). The writer of the R House is a huge adoption advocate. Last week she is doing guest appearances by others who are in the adoption world. Every day was an AMAZING POST.

Click HERE to go to her blog or click HERE to just see her guest appearances. Or click on both, it really is a great blog.

Tuesday's post made me cry. A lot. The poem that he wrote for his mother...well I can't find the right word because awesome, amazing, wonderful just don't justify it. If you don't click on any of the links I have included today, please be sure to check out Tuesday's post and read it. To read more of his story on the R House blog click HERE.

Wednesday's post made me cry. I know the pain of infertility and just how much it hurts. I will NEVER know the pain that a birth mother goes through. They are such amazing people and I am sure that they will be in the highest degree of glory in Heaven.

Thursday's post made me cry. We don't have a birth mother yet, but I think of her everyday. I wonder if what she is doing, if she is okay, what she looks like... I pray for her everyday and hope the best for her.

Friday's Post and Saturday's Post is a two part post. It is long, but well worth reading. It's a birth mother story that just makes me want to cry some more. I hope that someday we can have an amazing birth mother like this person. I also hope and pray that we can have a great relationship like she shares with the family that adopted her baby

Sigh, I want so badly to be a part of the adoption world...

Ready for Spring

Don't get me wrong. I actually like winter, more so than summer. I love snow. But when it is just cold and without any snow, I don't like that.
Oh, and yes I have time to blog being as I just finished Daydreams. It was so good. Once again Marcia Lynn McClure has outdone herself. My only complaint is the book was too short, but I always think that about all her books.

The Gift of Adoption

The February Ensign has a great article this month about adoption. I was so embarrassed today when someone mentioned it in church. I hadn't even opened my Ensign yet. The LDS church did a wonderful job of putting it together and they made sure to tell about the miracle of adoption from the different parties involved. Click HERE to read the full article.

It starts with the story of a wonderful birth mom who became pregnant at age 16. Her journey toward her choice to place her child was amazing, but as always the case it is also heartbreaking. Here is a little part of her story.
"To say that I cried would be to put it mildly. My heart was full and broken at the same time. How could I feel such peace in a decision that brought so much pain? I later realized that I had brought much heartache and pain into my life and the lives of those intertwined with mine because I had let selfish desires override my long-term goals. But here, I had been given an opportunity to put aside what I wanted most—to keep this child—and to give her something better."
"Giving birth to a beautiful little girl was miraculous. I loved holding her and rocking her. She was so beautiful, and I cried many times her first night on earth. I knew that the next day would bring heartache when it was time to say good-bye.
What made that pain bearable was knowing that placing her for adoption was right. It was the hardest—but most right—thing I have ever done. I signed the papers through sheets of tears and then leaned on family and friends for support. My tears weren’t the only ones shed that day or in the days to come."

They then have a birth father tell his story. You don't hear as much about them, but they are just as incredible as the birth mothers. What an incredible man to realize that this responsibility doesn't always mean having to marry the girl simply out of obligation. It is better for a child to be raised in a family with both a mom and dad that love each other as much as they love their children. In some cases, it is best for the parents to marry. That is their decision to make. But if they realize that they would only be making things worse and instead choose to place their child in a family that it can become a part of eternally, that is true unconditional love. Here is the part of his story that just had me in tears.
"We felt strongly that our child was to go to these parents, a decision we felt confirmed in prayer and again later when Andrea and I met the family.
The day Jenna was born was more incredible and miraculous than we could ever have imagined. We kept her with us the first few days, and when the day came to take Jenna to her new family, we felt we couldn’t do it. Three hours after we were supposed to have been at the LDS Family Services office, we still hadn’t left my parents’ house. I asked my father to give each of us a priesthood blessing. Among the things he blessed us with was the ability to do the right thing.
We finally left for LDS Family Services. Again, we felt a strong Spirit confirming that this was the right thing, yet when Andrea and I stepped out of the office to return home, I felt the saddest I have ever felt. Neither of us said a word as we drove away. We just cried. That was the most difficult day of my life.
The next week—and the next month—were also hard. But Andrea and I kept moving forward as much as we could. Attending group sessions was helpful because parents who had been through what we were going through were there to talk about their experience, to encourage us, and to remind us not to give up hope in the future—for Jenna or for ourselves."

There is more people that are affected by adoption; the grandparents of the child. I can imagine that as a parent this would be heart wrenching. As parents we want to fix everything for our kids, but that's not always possible, especially when they become parents themselves.
"The day our grandson was born was a bittersweet one. What a beautiful baby! It would have been easy to change our minds—after all, children are raised by single mothers and grandparents all of the time. Surely we could do it too. But we knew the Lord’s will, and we knew that it was in this child’s best interest for the adoption to proceed. After spending two days with our daughter and grandson in the hospital, my wife and I watched with tears streaming down our faces as Katie handed her son to the caseworker. She exclaimed, “I can’t believe I just did that!” and ran back to her hospital room to cry. My wife later commented that she had never seen greater love than she did as she watched Katie that day. Adoption, she said, truly is about love."

The last story they tell, is to me, the most important one; the adopted child.
"One of my earliest memories is looking up at my mother after she had tucked me in and asking her if she would tell me a different bedtime story. After all, she had been telling me the same story every night for as long I could remember.
It always started with these words: “Once upon a time, there was a mommy and daddy who wanted very much to have a baby of their own.” It wasn’t a fable or a fairy tale but the story of our family and how I came to be a part of it. Because I had heard the story repeated so often, adoption was never a mysterious or uncomfortable topic. I learned from the beginning that I was meant to be with my family—I had just come a different way."

Now, I must take a moment here to get on my soap box. The story from the adopted child goes on to say that his parents were blessed with another miracle and they were able to produce children of their own after adopting her. I may have become mad at this point and put (threw) the article down. That really only happens to about 3% of infertile couples. I get so tired of hearing so-and-so adopted and then they had children of their own. First off, just having a child through pregnancy does not make them more your own verses adopting them. But the important part to remember is that adopting does not result in pregnancy. Yes, for those FEW that is happens to that is wonderful, but it really doesn't happen as often as the world thinks. That is why I never want to be pregnant. I don't want to be THAT person that is always mentioned to other infertile couples struggling to have children. Adoption is not a choice that is reached easily for most couples, and it usually isn't a QUICK FIX to parenthood. Adoption is the most spiritual thing a person can ever do with their life and should not be taken lightly. We know that we were chosen before coming to earth to adopt and only the most special couples get such a wonderful privilege.
With all that said, I should probably climb back down off the soap box, but if anyone ever suggests that our adopting will help us get pregnant, I may have to punch you. Consider yourself warned.
Oh, and please go read this article, The Gift of Adoption.

Chickens in the Headlights

I just finished reading the funniest books! Well okay, I've read the first one before. Chickens in the Headlights, by Matthew Buckley, is a book about a family with 7 boys under the age of 11. SEVEN! Can you imagine? This book has me laughing from page one. At one point in the book I usually laugh so hard that Josh has to remind me to breathe. Here is just an excerpt to get everyone interested:
Dad opened the side door of the van and then began to give each one of us our assignments.
"I'll go inside," he said. "Simon, you stand here by the door and shoo them toward the van. Peter, Matthew, you stand here and here and make sure they stay in single file between the two of you. John, you stand here by the van and lift them up if there are any that can't jump that high."
His plan seemed rational and logical. I pictured Dad shooing the chickens out one by one. They would head straight out of the pen in single fine, and Simon would point them toward the van. The chickens would march between Peter and myself, and then either jump in the van or wait to be helped by John. Perfect.
The part that follows is where I just can't stop laughing. I guess I can visualize it so well because Josh's family has chickens and I can just picture this plan in action.
The 2nd book is Bullies in the Headlights, by Matthew Buckley, and it is just as funny.
We were a pretty special class because we had nine kids, seven of us boys. We were so special that for a while, before Brother Winston came, it seemed that everybody wanted to be our teacher. They took turns coming to our class, and it seemed like we had a new teacher every two weeks. I guess everybody wanted a turn to teach us. Or maybe they were auditioning teachers to see who was the best.
Then one day, in walked Brother Winston. He had an open bag of licorice in one hand. We had been bribed with candy before, and it often made some of the kids go crazy with anticipation.
As soon as all the kids saw the candy, their questions and comments started to fly.
"How many pieces does everybody get?"
"I hope it's not black licorice, because that tastes like the diarrhea medicine."
"I will need an extra piece for my brother, 'cause he cries when I get candy and he doesn't."
Ralph, who was sitting next to me, raised his hand and then lowered it, forgetting what he was going to say.
Brother Winston sat there staring at us until everybody had his or her say. Then he leaned back in his chair and said, "Listen up, I'm only going to say this once."
There was something in his voice. It wasn't threatening--in fact it was a bit raspy--but it had a commanding tone. You had to pay attention.
"We're going to have a discussion on--" He paused, looking at his manual, and then continued. "We're going to have a discussion on baptism. I'm going to lead the discussion, and you're going to participate in an orderly fashion."
Ralph raised his hand again but Brother Winston ignored it.
"If the discussion gets out of hand, I'm going to stop. I'll be bored, and so I will probably start eating this bag of licorice. If--" He paused so that we could all understand that there was a condition coming up. "If there is enough licorice at the end of the lesson for everybody to have a piece, then I will share. If there isn't, then you will get nothing. Am I understood?"
We all nodded our heads. And then everybody started talking at once.
"But what flavor is the licorice? If it's black, I don't want any anyway..."
"How fast can you eat licorice? Will you be eating it really quick or just sucking it?"
"How many have you got in there to begin with?"
"My dad can eat a whole watermelon. And he spits the seeds at our cat."
Brother Winston casually sat back, pulled out a plump piece of red licorice, and started to eat.
Within four seconds it was dead silent in the room. After a moment, Brother Winston put the licorice down and began the lesson.
He'd been our teacher ever since.
These books really are a must read! They are hilarious, but they also have a good message in them.