Why is it that when people talk about adoption, they do so like it's a loveless act? Considering adoption DOES NOT mean the mother doesn't loves her child. Considering adoption DOES NOT mean the mother is trying to find a quick fix to her situation.
Birth mom's aren't cool, they are AMAZING. The love a birth mom has for her child is a greater love then anyone can ever understand.
I have yet to meet a birth mom who says they placed their child because they didn't want to raise it themselves. More than anything in the world, a birth mom WANTS to raise their baby on their own. If it was just about them, they would. But when they learn they are pregnant, its no longer about just them, it's about the child they carry. The child they LOVE.
This month I seem to be even more passionate about adoption. Maybe it's because we have our own birth mom now, so any assault on adoption feels like a direct attack on my family. Why can't adoption be portrayed more positively in the media? And I don't just mean Hollywood. Movies get it wrong all the time, but so do books, magazines and newspapers. I read an article this week that has spurned all this anger. And yet, I know I shouldn't be this mad. It's not the person's fault that they are uneducated. It's not their fault they can't see adoption as the loving decision that it really is.
If I could talk to these people, this is what I would say.
Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is not about making a problem disappear. A birth mom does not place her child and then walk away and forget that child. They never stop loving that child. Adoption is about trying to take an ugly thing and turning it into something beautiful. As a single, unwed expectant mother, you probably never expected to find yourself pregnant and alone. Already that child is loved and depending on you. You don't make an adoption plan because you don't want the child. By making an adoption plan you show that you are a good mother because you are doing the best you can to give your child the best in life. Adoption isn't really about you. Adoption really isn't about me. Its about the child.
Birth mom's aren't cool, they are AMAZING. The love a birth mom has for her child is a greater love then anyone can ever understand.
I have yet to meet a birth mom who says they placed their child because they didn't want to raise it themselves. More than anything in the world, a birth mom WANTS to raise their baby on their own. If it was just about them, they would. But when they learn they are pregnant, its no longer about just them, it's about the child they carry. The child they LOVE.
This month I seem to be even more passionate about adoption. Maybe it's because we have our own birth mom now, so any assault on adoption feels like a direct attack on my family. Why can't adoption be portrayed more positively in the media? And I don't just mean Hollywood. Movies get it wrong all the time, but so do books, magazines and newspapers. I read an article this week that has spurned all this anger. And yet, I know I shouldn't be this mad. It's not the person's fault that they are uneducated. It's not their fault they can't see adoption as the loving decision that it really is.
If I could talk to these people, this is what I would say.
Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is not about making a problem disappear. A birth mom does not place her child and then walk away and forget that child. They never stop loving that child. Adoption is about trying to take an ugly thing and turning it into something beautiful. As a single, unwed expectant mother, you probably never expected to find yourself pregnant and alone. Already that child is loved and depending on you. You don't make an adoption plan because you don't want the child. By making an adoption plan you show that you are a good mother because you are doing the best you can to give your child the best in life. Adoption isn't really about you. Adoption really isn't about me. Its about the child.
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6 comments:
Excellent post. :)Birthmothers are miracle workers :)
What a great post, so well said. I love that you know the spirit of adoption so well. Thank your for sharing that with me. You are going to be the best mom!
Savannah,
Another beautiful post about the miracle of adoption.
Amen! Well said.
I hope for a moment I can give my 2 cents here..you see..I am Savannah's birthmom's mom..and I can give an upfront account on this subject.No one on this earth knows Celeste the way I do and loves her that much..I watch my girl everyday and feel all that she feels...there is an intense magic in the connection she has with this baby.There is a pure,perfect love that is there.She is amazing and I am proud to have her as my daughter.There is something that I know without doubt..God does nothing without reason..and you cannot OWN a child..they belong to God..they are blessings to bring joy and meaning into our lives.Some blessings are just so very special that they are meant to be shared.Shared with only select other people that may not have that blessing any other way.No one could really understand the strong spiritual expirience that surrounds us right now..In more ways then anyone could see this is an answer to more than just one prayer.Yes...if people had the ability to look with their spiritual eyes..the perception of adoption would be very diffrent.Do not judge what you do not know.Heavenly Father has brought us together for a special purpose..See it for it's beauty.
Ah! I love Celeste's mom. That was a beautiful comment.
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