Thursday, January 10, 2013

Thoughts on Turning 30

The big 3-0. Its been coming at me for the last 29 years. ;) Thirty.
Gotta be honest. I don't feel any different then I did at 29. Which didn't feel any different from 28. You get the point. Josh, on the other hand, has been feeling old since he turned 25.
For years, I've watched people freak about turning old. I never understood it. Still don't. Its just a number. I don't think I could even define which age, at least to me, equals old. Fifty? My parents are fifty, but I don't see them as old. I have grandparents in their 70's, but I don't see them as old. (Maybe that's because Grandpa Mike never stops moving.) As corny as it sounds, I think a person is only as old as they feel.
I've been giving Josh a hard time the last few weeks. He's 31, but I was still 29. I mentioned this to my sister and she asked me if I was nervous to turn 30. My response, a little, but not really. And the little bit I think comes from societies pressure to let it make me feel old.
So then I thought about it all day long.
In my "young" 20's, we were poor, broke newly weds. At times, we didn't even have 2 nickels to rub together. We had zero credit and couldn't get a car loan. We had to cut our own deer because we couldn't afford to take it to a butcher. For years, we only had one car because we couldn't afford a second one. The jobs we had that barely managed to cover the bills, both made us miserable. Insurance was only a dream.
The car I have now is worth our first car, times 8. And we still have enough left over to have Josh's truck too. When we want something, we get it. No having to figure out where the money is going to come from. Granted, this has led to a impulse buying problem, but I've been working on that.
We both love our jobs. In the winter, when Josh's job slows down, he is able to take time off and do what he loves, hunting and trapping. I also love it because I get to have him home with me. It makes for a long summer when he works out of town all week. But in the winter, I come home from work and dinner is already cooked and the dishes are already done. I LOVE it! Before long, he will be putting in the long hours again and I will be missing him. I want to soak up every minute I can right now.
Most of my 20's were very depressing for me. Infertility was a hard struggle that just about broke me. Now that I've been able to move on from that, life has been so much more enjoyable. A big part of that could be those adorable nephews of mine. They have filled the empty spots in my heart and completed me.
Over the last year, I've been able to build on my self. I finally feel like I am truly me and not trapped in the box that people wanted me to be. I finally feel like I can be true to myself and not care what other people think.
I'm also in the best health of my life. I spent my 20's fat and out of breath. Now I've taken charge of my health, got in shape and lost 70 pounds. I would much rather have my 30 year old body then my 25 year old body any day.
I'm not going to miss my 20's. This year, I am turning 30. Not 29, for the second time.

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