Monday, August 15, 2016


A month ago, I came home from a weekend out of town with my sister, to find out my husband was leaving me. He had already packed a bag and was just waiting to say goodbye. As I stood on my back porch and watched him drive away, I wanted to die. But God got me through that night and the following days.

A week later, I learned there was another woman. Each day, my eyes have become more open to all the stuff the liar hid from me. Stuff I put up with for years because I loved him. Stuff he hid from me because he was a coward to own up to any of it.

He was willing to end our 15-1/2 marriage for someone he claims he only just met in June. I was willing to work things out. I was ready to forgive. I believe that is what you do in a marriage. Instead, he decided to let his true colors show and walk away.

By the third week, I had hired a divorce lawyer and before week four ended, I had signed papers and I have started the 90 day separation period that Utah courts require before the judge will sign off and end our marriage.

When he first left, I felt like I was loosing everything. But it turns out he is the one that will loose everything. I get to keep my home and my car (which is paid for). I also get to keep basically everything inside the home. The only thing that will leave those walls are his hunting and fishing supplies.

I no longer feel like I am the one loosing him, but he will be the one that looses me. I loved being married. I loved being a wife. He will search the world over and never be able to find someone as amazing as me. Or someone who put up with his crap the way I did.

His first mistake was cheating on me. His second mistake was giving me time to figure out I could live without him. I will forgive him because I can't live with the hate in my heart. But I also plan to forget him and move on with my life.

I will be okay. I have a great job that will cover all of my expenses. I have amazing friends and family to support and love me as I go through this. Most importantly, I have God who is always faithful. His peace surrounds me each day and I am continually in awe of His power and grace.

This chapter of my life is over, but a new one is beginning. I will no longer be updating this blog. I won't delete it because it holds many happy memories, such as my nephews, but I don't feel like I can continue it either. Instead, I've decided to start a new one. Feel free to follow me at Sparkles & Stardust.


Mali said...

Savannah, I am so sorry to hear you've been/are going through this. But I'm so pleased too that you have realised that he is the one who is losing everything, and that his biggest loss is you. I will follow your new blog, and wish you the very very best for your future.

Jessica said...

Anyone that ever talks to me about what you're going through says the same things you've just said. That he will never find someone as amazing as you or someone who will put up with his crap like you did. I hope you know how loved you are by people who want you around. Love you!

loribeth said...

Wow. I am so sorry that this has happened, and in the way that it happened. But as you & the others have noted above, it's his loss!! I know you can & will have a great life without him. See you on your new blog! (((hugs)))

Empty Arms, Broken Heart said...

You're a better woman than I am. When my ex cheated and left, I was not nearly as sane as you seem to be. Although, what you said is true, he was the real loser. Unfortunately, he also left me in more of a pickle financially, something I'm still dealing with 4 years later. I wish for smooth sailing for you and that he may be forgotten with a brighter future for you!