Why do you think people believe it "helps" when they tell people like us about the people they know who adopted and then got pregnant? I've actually had people say "So, don't give up!" Um, I chose adoption, I didn't give up.
I think a lot of time people are uncomfortable and don't know what to say. Then they remember so-and-so and how they adopted and got pregnant and they think it is the perfect way to give you hope.I think that unless your life has been touched by adoption, people don't fully understand it. I can admit that I didn't.
I think people mean well when they suggest adoption as a means to get pregnant, but when you suffer from infertility you don't hear it that way. You know all about giving up, because you have spent so long NOT giving up. One negative pregnancy test. Then another. Then another. Dr. visit after Dr. visit. Test after test. You give your all trying to become parents.
Choosing adoption is not about giving up. It is about accepting God's will that He wants you to build your family differently. Nothing about adoption is giving up. Now you go from multiple fertility drugs and Dr. visits to mounds of paperwork, having your home and lifestyle picked apart. You give up the negative pregnancy tests for the endless waiting to be chosen.
Adoption is never about giving up. It is about building your family in a different way. Being pregnant doesn't make you a mother. Reading bedtime stories, kissing banged up knees, loving a child more than you love yourself is what makes you a mother. Love does not require DNA.
Ask me a question on Formspring. Also be sure to view my page there, I'm not posting all the questions and answers on my blog.
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1 comment:
I don't think you could have stated that any better then that. That is it. :)
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